Dear Caden,
We are getting ready for bed and you decide that you need to go to the restroom. I sit across from you and wait while you do your business when suddenly you say, "Momma! Watch this!"
My eyes can never unsee what you decided to show me. Let me just tell you now that your tinker is not:
a pretzel : be a contortionist with your entire body not just one part
a rubber band : I don't care that it can stretch to the other side of the room, it shouldn't
a bouncy ball : there is no need to shake it like a polaroid picture
finger-like appendage : you don't need to use it to wave to me and please don't touch me, or anyone else with it. Or lay it on your brother's leg.
Also, just like pulling it isn't nice, don't push it in either. Even if it doesn't hurt you, it hurts me. And it's gross.
Love,
Mommy
Friday, January 30, 2015
Monday, January 26, 2015
Cool Kid
Dear Caden,
I see you running around the house and I notice you seem to only have one sock on with your shoes.
"Caden, where is your other sock?"
"I'm wearing it." You skip away.
"I only see one sock, where is the other one?"
"It's on my foot on top of my other sock." You are now spinning in circles.
You pause and give me the look of, 'duh mom, where else would it be? '
"So you have two socks on one foot then?"
"Yup!" and you hop up to me shoving your socked foot in my face.
"Why?" I grab your shoe and remove it and the two socks which were very sweaty - gross.
"Because it's cool. And I am a cool kid!"
As long as that is the extent of what it takes to be a 'cool kid' nowadays I think I am good.
Love,
Mommy
I see you running around the house and I notice you seem to only have one sock on with your shoes.
"Caden, where is your other sock?"
"I'm wearing it." You skip away.
"I only see one sock, where is the other one?"
"It's on my foot on top of my other sock." You are now spinning in circles.
You pause and give me the look of, 'duh mom, where else would it be? '
"So you have two socks on one foot then?"
"Yup!" and you hop up to me shoving your socked foot in my face.
"Why?" I grab your shoe and remove it and the two socks which were very sweaty - gross.
"Because it's cool. And I am a cool kid!"
As long as that is the extent of what it takes to be a 'cool kid' nowadays I think I am good.
Love,
Mommy
Friday, January 23, 2015
Brain Sneezes
Dear Caden,
Mommies tend to have a 6th sense. Even as I am sleeping ever so soundly, I know you are there. I open my eyes and strain to see you in the inky darkness of the night. Then I hear you.
"Momma..."
"What baby?"
"I need a tissue."
"You know where they are, can you reach them?"
"Yeah..."
"Ok, then what else do you need?"
"Ummm, I sneezed my brain out and it's sticky."
Love,
Mommy
Mommies tend to have a 6th sense. Even as I am sleeping ever so soundly, I know you are there. I open my eyes and strain to see you in the inky darkness of the night. Then I hear you.
"Momma..."
"What baby?"
"I need a tissue."
"You know where they are, can you reach them?"
"Yeah..."
"Ok, then what else do you need?"
"Ummm, I sneezed my brain out and it's sticky."
Love,
Mommy
Sunday, January 18, 2015
Soylent Green
Dear Caden,
"Momma, what are we eating for dinner tonight?"
"I'm not quite sure Caden."
"So we aren't eating beans tonight?"
"No sweetheart, no beans tonight."
"Good. We're not eating humans tonight."
No matter how many times I have tried to explain it, you still think it is human beans and not beings. I think I should start to come up with a good explanation for the future in the event I get asked why my son is telling his teachers he is eating people. Last I checked, we were out of soylent green.
Love,
Mommy
"Momma, what are we eating for dinner tonight?"
"I'm not quite sure Caden."
"So we aren't eating beans tonight?"
"No sweetheart, no beans tonight."
"Good. We're not eating humans tonight."
No matter how many times I have tried to explain it, you still think it is human beans and not beings. I think I should start to come up with a good explanation for the future in the event I get asked why my son is telling his teachers he is eating people. Last I checked, we were out of soylent green.
Love,
Mommy
Sunday, January 11, 2015
Beans
Dear Caden,
"Momma! I love beans!"
"Really? Since when? You always whine when I serve them for dinner."
"No, no, no! I like them!"
"So the next time I give them to you, you will eat them with no complaints?"
"Gross! No!"
"But you just said..."
"No momma! Like red beans, and white beans and blue beans and human beans! We don't eat human
beans!"
"True. We aren't cannibals and it is a felony."
"...but we can eat jelly beans!"
Love,
Mommy
"Momma! I love beans!"
"Really? Since when? You always whine when I serve them for dinner."
"No, no, no! I like them!"
"So the next time I give them to you, you will eat them with no complaints?"
"Gross! No!"
"But you just said..."
"No momma! Like red beans, and white beans and blue beans and human beans! We don't eat human
beans!"
"True. We aren't cannibals and it is a felony."
"...but we can eat jelly beans!"
Love,
Mommy
Thursday, January 8, 2015
Frogs, Fish and Tinkers
Dear Caden,
The other night you and Jacob were splashing around in the bathtub. You decided to go "swimming" in the 4 inches of water filled with bubbles and toys. Jacob is happily grabbing the toys, lifting them up and excitedly telling us what they are.
"Fog!"
"Yes, frog!"
"Fish!"
"Yes, fish!"
"Tinka!
"Ummm, yes- that is Caden's tinker....
On a side note, I think you learned your lesson on swimming face up with Jacob in the tub.
Love,
Mommy
The other night you and Jacob were splashing around in the bathtub. You decided to go "swimming" in the 4 inches of water filled with bubbles and toys. Jacob is happily grabbing the toys, lifting them up and excitedly telling us what they are.
"Fog!"
"Yes, frog!"
"Fish!"
"Yes, fish!"
"Tinka!
"Ummm, yes- that is Caden's tinker....
On a side note, I think you learned your lesson on swimming face up with Jacob in the tub.
Love,
Mommy
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