Dear Jacob,
It has come to my recent attention that you were loving all over a cute little girl in your classroom.
When I asked you about her, you responded with, " I have a 'gurlfren' "
"You have a girlfriend?!"
"I have three."
"What's her/their name?"
"I call her Baby."
"You're a stud muffin."
"Muffin? I wanna a muffin!"
Love,
Mommy