Tinker Tales

Dear Caden,

We are getting ready for bed and you decide that you need to go to the restroom. I sit across from you and wait while you do your business when suddenly you say, "Momma! Watch this!"
My eyes can never unsee what you decided to show me. Let me just tell you now that your tinker is not:
a pretzel : be a contortionist with your entire body not just one part
a rubber band : I don't care that it can stretch to the other side of the room, it shouldn't
a bouncy ball : there is no need to shake it like a polaroid picture
finger-like appendage : you don't need to use it to wave to me and please don't touch me, or anyone else with it. Or lay it on your brother's leg.
Also, just like pulling it isn't nice, don't push it in either. Even if it doesn't hurt you, it hurts me.  And it's gross.

Love,
Mommy

Cool Kid

Dear Caden,

I see you running around the house and I notice you seem to only have one sock on with your shoes.

"Caden, where is your other sock?"

"I'm wearing it." You skip away.

"I only see one sock, where is the other one?"

"It's on my foot on top of my other sock." You are now spinning in circles.

You pause and give me the look of, 'duh mom, where else would it be? '

"So you have two socks on one foot then?"

"Yup!" and you hop up to me shoving your socked foot in my face.

"Why?" I grab your shoe and remove it and the two socks which were very sweaty - gross.

"Because it's cool. And I am a cool kid!"

As long as that is the extent of what it takes to be a 'cool kid' nowadays I think I am good.

Love,
Mommy

Brain Sneezes

Dear Caden,

Mommies tend to have a 6th sense. Even as I am sleeping ever so soundly, I know you are there. I open my eyes and strain to see you in the inky darkness of the night. Then I hear you.

"Momma..."

"What baby?"

"I need a tissue."

"You know where they are, can you reach them?"

"Yeah..."

"Ok, then what else do you need?"

"Ummm, I sneezed my brain out and it's sticky."

Love,
Mommy