Sunday, September 30, 2012

New World Order

Dear Caden,

While I realize that your 'New World Order' may be that of chaos, please understand that Mommy will regain order. I do know this may take 18+ years, but trust me, it will happen. Plus, Mommy is the keeper of the waffles.

Love,
Mommy

Saturday, September 29, 2012

Dinglehopper

Dear Caden,

The purpose of a fork is to take food from your plate and transport it to your mouth. It is not 1) to be used as a drum, no matter how awesome a beat you can make or 2) to be used as a hairbrush, no matter what Ariel the mermaid may have told you. It is not a dinglehopper. You may carry on with dinner.

Love,
Mommy

Friday, September 28, 2012

Bubble Mountain

Dear Caden,

You decide that your bathtub isn't good enough. You must bathe in Mommy's tub, it is way more fun with the jets. Daddy puts you in the tub while I decide to clean the rest of the bathroom. I hear you play with your duckies and turn on the jets. Suddenly you squeal and I quickly turn to look, but all can see are bubbles. EVERYWHERE. Spilling over the side of our tub onto the floor. You are completely hidden in this mountain of bubbles and I see your small hand waving at me frantically. Perhaps next time Daddy should let me know that he put bubble bath in before you turn on the jets. And Daddy, you should put about a capful of bubbles in, not 1/2 cup, and yes, directions are on the back of the bottle. You get to clean up this mess.

Love,
Mommy

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Mornings

Dear Caden,

Mommy apologizes if she frightened you this morning. I understand that I may have sounded quite disturbing as I made sounds similar to the coffee maker. Mornings aren't my thing.

Love,
Mommy

Monday, September 24, 2012

Momma Bear

Dear Caden,

Today the Momma Bear in me came out. We were grocery shopping and I bent down to get a can of peas and looked up and my whole cart with you, my most precious being, were gone. My chest tightened and I felt as if I couldn't breathe. You weren't there, it was literally 3 seconds...what kind of Mommy am I?! I frantically ran down the isles looking for you, screaming your name. Suddenly I see you, 2 aisles down, with another woman pushing you in our cart. "Ma'am! Ma'am! That's my baby!" She looked at me and rudely told me that that was her cart. Fine lady, have the cart,  BUT THAT'S MY BABY! She refused. So I pushed her to get to you. I understand this may not be the right thing to do, but she had you, MY Caden. Security came and the police came. The woman kept saying that the cart was hers and that I was crazy...seriously?! WHO CARES ABOUT A CART? Thankfully the security cameras were working and showed you coming in with me. Moral of the story? You will be in a Baby Bjorn until you are 16.

Love,
(a VERY shaken) Mommy

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Exercise

Dear Caden,

Mommy doesn't go to the gym. Mommy doesn't do morning or evening jogs in the neighborhood. The only sports that Mommy is remotely interested in are Wii Sports. This is ok with Mommy, because you are my Insanity program.

Love,
Mommy

Saturday, September 22, 2012

One, Poo, Tee!

Dear Caden,

Note to Mommy: work on your counting skills.
"One, Poo, Tee!"
At least it is a start.

Love,
Mommy

Friday, September 21, 2012

Sense of Humor

Dear Caden,

I shall do my best to maintain a sense of humor regarding all things motherhood, for without it, I recognize that I may end up institutionalized. Or at the very least, utterly and completely miserable.

Love,
Mommy

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Warmth

Dear Caden,

Warm. It is how Houston feels 99.9% of the time during spring, summer, and summer II. Warm. It's how Mommy's heart feels when you give her a kiss and hug that tells me I am the best Mommy in the world. Warm. It is how you prefer your waffles. Warm. It is how Mommy's foot feels from you standing there bathing it with a Golden Shower after sitting on the potty for three solid minutes with no results. Warm.

Love,
Mommy

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Night Time Whispers

Dear Caden,

Last night I walked into your room to grasp the last few moments as the day slips away. I watch you sleep with your arm cradling Mr. Seahorse, as I always do before I go to bed. I gently run my fingers through your hair and you suddenly sigh, "Mama..." You quickly roll to your tummy and tuck your knees under you, bum high in the air. I smile, readjusting your blanket and your sleepy eyes open a crack. Quietly you say, " I love...." My heart bursts with love, I pat myself on the back as I wildly say in my mind, "I love you too Caden!"  Your head turns to the other side and ever so softly as you drift back into dreamland you say, "...waffles" My dear Caden, waffles love you too. Just remember, Mommy makes those waffles that you 'love' so much.

Love,
Mommy

Monday, September 17, 2012

Bubbles

Dear Caden,

Tonight you learned that bubbles are created many ways. One is by the yummy smelling bubble bath that Mommy put in the tub, and the other is the not so yummy smelling bum bubbles that you added to the tub. Next time, when you decide to add these extra bubbles, could you please warn Mommy so she can move her hand out of the way?

Love,
Mommy

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Jersey Cows

Dear Caden,

I would like to make a clarification for you: Mommy does NOT say "Moo!" Mommy says, "I love you." I know this may be a little confusing for you, as Mommy did appear to have the qualities of a Jersey cow for several months as she breast fed you. However, those days are long gone and I can assure you that I am not a cow. Part pig maybe, but that is another story for another time. You may now finish singing your Old MacDonald song. Thank you.

Love,
Mommy

Friday, September 14, 2012

Scrambled Eggs

Dear Caden,



Even though you quickly disappeared and are no where to be found, you left little footprints. Nice try.

Love,
Mommy

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Daddy's Home!

Dear Caden,

Lately life with you has been interesting, fun and oh so challenging. You have definitely kept me on my toes while Daddy was gone. This morning you paused from your shenanigans of licking goldfish cracker pieces off the garage floor, flying around the house with a toilet paper cape and taking off your bottoms, to sit on the couch. You sit there excitedly, giggling with excitement. Then you say three words that melt my heart: "I love you." You lay your head on Daddy's arm and your face emits a light that leaves my heart bursting. Your Daddy is home, oh how you have missed him. All this week you would call out for Daddy, your eyes would well up with tears when I told you that your Daddy, your rough house buddy, was at work. This morning, your tears were gone and your smile and giggles said it all. Daddy is back. Our family is together. We are blessed.

Love,
Mommy

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Change the World

Dear Caden,


Today is September 11, a day in our nation's history that is filled with terrible pain. Eleven years ago today, there were horrible people that caused so many people to die by flying planes into our World Trade Centers. This is something that makes my heart ache knowing that you will one day read about this in history. History is supposed to be about Pocahontas and George Washington. Not terrorist attacks. Even so, history is history. So I must tell you the other side of this historic tale. The side where everyone held one another and prayed together. The side where strangers started helping strangers again. Where the U.S.A. remembered that we were One Nation Under God. We joined together in love, and stood as One. That day, ordinary people became heroes. Those people will never be forgotton. Many lives were lost, however our nation became stronger. Be proud to be an American, Caden, for with all it's faults we are still a blessed country. Always stand with your hand over your heart when the U.S. flag is passing by - even if you are the only one. Our freedom did not come freely. Always respect those in position of Authority. We may not always agree with them, but we should always respect them. I pray that you grow up and follow your dreams, that you make a difference in the world. That one day, your grandchildren will open up their history books and not just read about 9/11, but how you, My Dear Caden, believed, made a difference and changed the world.

Love,
Mommy

Monday, September 10, 2012

Baby Wipes

Dear Caden,

Upon returning from the kitchen I see the living room floor littered with baby wipes and Tiger struggling to escape from your grasp.
Me: "Caden! Did you do this?"
You: "Uh oh! Noooo Mama!"
Me: "Caden, if you didn't do it who did?"
You: "Tiger!"
Me: "Tiger didn't do this, silly. Wipes aren't for bathing Tiger. Help me clean this up please."
You: "Waffles!"
Love your attempt at changing the topic. Well played Caden, well played.

Love,
Mommy

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Diaper Surprises

Dear Caden,

We are not exhibitionists, nor do we live in a nudist colony. Mommy prefers that you keep your bottoms and diaper on at all times, especially during nap time. Even more so if you have a surprise in your diaper. Mommy wishes Daddy were back from the UK, because she would have given him the delight of finding and cleaning up your diaper surprise pieces that you threw on the floor. If you don't mind, could you please save all your exciting little messes until he gets back? Thanks.

Love,
Exhausted Mommy

Saturday, September 8, 2012

I Love Waffles

Dear Mommy,


I Love Waffles.

Love,
Bad Boy Caden 

Grossness

Dear Caden,

I take you out of the car seat and place you on the ground in the garage. CRUNCH. You lift up your left leg and see the squished goldfish cracker. I know what you are thinking. I'm getting deja vu...I beg and I plead with you...please don't. I'm too late, you quickly get on all fours and ceremoniously lick up the crumbled cracker. Every. Single. Last. Piece. I sigh, step over the the trail of saliva left by your tongue, pick you up and you give me a crooked grin. Gross.

Love,
Mommy

Friday, September 7, 2012

My Maestro

Dear Caden,

You cough softly as to get everyone's attention. The music begins, flowing softly at first, swirling in the air becoming louder. The beats become loud and rhythmic, echoing across the house. The music suddenly becomes light and airy likening to butterflies dancing from flower to flower. The entire room waits with baited breath for the music to continue, but magical notes slowly fade into the night, ending. You stand up proudly from the instrument of the door stopper, smile, and continue on your way. My little Maestro.

Love,
Mommy

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Center of the Charmin

Dear Caden,

Toilet paper. A favorite toy of cats and children alike. I am still not sure how you opened the bathroom door- I am sure our cat, Tiger, is somehow to blame, opposable thumbs or not. I am assuming by the mummified look that you and Tiger accomplished, that you found out how many rolls it takes to get to the center of the Charmin. Such a burning question must be answered.

Love,
Mommy

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Freaky

Dear Caden,

Since having you  I'd like to think I have mellowed a little. I used to freak out at every little thing. now I only freak out at every other little thing. Thanks for making me less freaky.

Love,
Mommy

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Silence

Dear Caden,

Silence is normally golden. Your silence is costly, namely my lotion which you gleefully decided to cover the entire play area with. You owe me $5.94.

Love,
Mommy

Monday, September 3, 2012

Turnips and Rutabaga

Dear Caden,

Our cat, Tiger, doesn't like chicken, turnips or rutabaga. You can stop trying to feed yours to him. Plus doing it while I am looking directly at you kinda defeats the purpose of your plan. Did Daddy teach you this? You can tell me, I won't squeal on you...Just sayin'

Love,
Mommy

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Hot Stuff

Dear Caden,

Today we went grocery shopping after church. You charmed everyone that would listen to you, offering everyone within reach the stuff we had put into our basket. Thank you for sharing, but we need (most) of those things. Also, thanks for adding a few random things to our cart, which we found during checkout. Several people commented on how smart you were knowing what sweet potatoes, broccoli and waffles were. You thought you were hot stuff- and you are. So thankful you are mine.

Love,
Mommy

Saturday, September 1, 2012

The Queen

Dear Caden,

I understand the fundamental job of a toddler is to rule the universe, but always remember: Mommy is the Queen.

Love,
Mommy

Randal the Sandal

Dear Caden,

Last night I told you the Randal Ashley was coming over the next day to visit. You LOVE Randal, he's your buddy. After I said "Randal", you excitedly started to dance and repeated, "Sandal!" I tried to correct you and you just kept saying "Sandal!" Then you proceeded to talk about your "Shoos". I love your thought process.

Trying to not laugh too hard,
Mommy