Singing

Dear Caden,

I know that it is unwise to interrupt an artist while they are singing their masterpiece however, must you be singing it at the top of your lungs while Mommy is on the phone?

Love,
Mommy

Upstairs

Dear Caden,

Trying to convince me that you are unable to walk upstairs for bedtime won't work. I know your legs move perfectly fine. I have seen you practicing judo like moves and am sure that you are a level 10 karate master by now. And there is no need to become a spineless blob of jelly.

Love,
Mommy

All You Need Is Love

Dear Caden,

I know the song says 'All you need is love', but clothing is preferable as well. The last thing Mommy expects to see when waking you up in the morning is you all curled up with your cute, bare naked bum, high in the air.

Love,
Mommy

Goodnight Moon- Twisted Version

Dear Caden,

One of your favorite bedtime stories is Goodnight Moon. It is a must read Every. Single. Night. You love pointing out and naming everything on the pages, but lately you have become quite fixated on the fire in the fireplace. You excitedly yell, "Hot! Fire! No! No! Don't touch! Hot!" and proceed to blow, with massive quantities of spit joining in, on the picture of the fire as if to blow it out. Every. Single. Time. Multiple. Times. When we turn the page you will ask, "Where'd it go? Where's the fire? Fire out!" Every. Single. Time. Multiple. Times. That is, until we turn the page and see the fire yet again.

However I must warn you that there is a twisted version out there. I guess we will wait until you are a bit older to share with you that 'Quiet old lady whispering hush' will later cook 'The cow that jumps over the moon' in the book with your beloved fire in order to make some delicious steaks. Tonight would be too soon, no? Perhaps I will let you figure that one out on your own.

I blame Uncle Nate for introducing to Mommy what real steak tastes like and making Mommy even go down this path. It is his fault.

Love,
Mommy

Bye- Bye

Dear Caden,

I mention to you that we are going 'bye bye'. You get all giddy, grab your Buzz Lightyear and start running to the car. The moment we get to our destination and you realize it isn't an all you can eat, super fun zone, you decide your feet no longer work. You become dead weight, suddenly making your body weigh 250 lbs, and insist on being carried. Ain't nobody got time for that.

Love,
Mommy

Bonding Time

Dear Caden,

Last night you woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed at 3 am. You asked ever so sweetly to watch Mickey Mouse and for us to play with your guitars. Yes, I suppose you are correct in thinking that all the awesome rock stars are up and playing at 3 am - just not in my house. I also assume that you thought this was the perfect bonding time? It's not. Trust me.

Love,
Mommy

Moments

Dear Caden,

The noise level is almost obnoxious, echoing off of every wall and down the hallways. You are are red faced, trying to talk in between gasps of air and hiccups from laughing so hard. All because Mommy and Daddy decided to wear your underwear (clean of course) on our heads in order to con you into putting a pair on. This, of course, backfired and you are now frolicking around the house buck naked donning a pair of Mickey Mouse underwear on your own head. I treasure these crazy moments, breathe in the happy chaos and smile. I am terrified and nervous of your baby brother's arrival, yet I cannot wait for the new adventures we will unfold. I pray that I never get too busy to take a moment and step into your magical world. . .
for it is in these spontaneous, underwear wearing moments that I realize how my heart and home is full and I am extremely blessed.

Love,
Mommy

Sleeping In

Dear Caden,

Thank you for sleeping in until 7am this morning. I am sure I saw crayola football-esque drawings with x's and o's stashed between your bed and mattress. I can only assume this means it was because you were up late last night scheming, plotting and singing ," Yo, ho, ho" like a pirate while planning today's shenanigans. This worries me.

Love,
Mommy

Toothbrush

Dear Caden,

You have once again proven that it is not wise to turn my back on you for any amount of time. What on earth possessed you to rinse your toothbrush in the toilet?

Love,
Mommy

Dinner

Dear Caden,

You sit down for dinner, glance at the painstakingly and lovingly prepared food and commence to gagging, pretending to faux vomit. You then request/demand a peanut butter and jelly sandwich glance at the painstakingly and lovingly prepared sandwich and refuse to eat it because the jelly is on the wrong side of the bread. It is going to be a long night.

Love,
Mommy

Jealous

Dear Caden,

I am jealous of you. Flat out jealous. It amazes me that when you pee you can just stop mid stream and say, "I done." Now of course, this isn't necessarily the full truth, for the moment that we get you redressed, flush, and wash hands. . .you say, "I pee pee!" which just restarts the whole process all over. You can pee 9,348,290 times in 10 minutes. You either have major prostate problems or wicked awesome muscle control. I cannot stop peeing if my life depended on it. As a matter of fact, after having you, I think I am in a constant state of peeing. Like I said, jealous. You did this to me.

Love,
Mommy

Blueberries

Dear Caden,

Taking you grocery shopping has become quite awkward lately. You informed me, quite loudly I might add, that you like, "Blueberries" which sounds like, "Boobies". You didn't stop there, much to my embarrassment, you insisted that you liked, "BIG Boobies Momma!"  On to the next aisle.

Love,
Mommy

Kisses

Dear Caden,

Tonight while getting ready for bed you decided to become stingy with your kisses. Trying to trick you into giving Daddy a kiss, I said, "Mommy is going to give Daddy a kiss then!" And I give Daddy a kiss on his cheek. You giggled and told me, "No, No Mommy!" and turned Daddy's face to where I would kiss him on the lips. It made me think on how much you see and hear and take in every day. Something as simple and small as Mommy kissing Daddy correctly. May I strive to be a good Mommy led by God, so that later in life you will know how to live correctly. For it is with the simple and small things of life, that God builds amazing and great things.

Love,
Mommy

Raindrops

Dear Caden,

There is no need to slurp up rainwater off of : the sidewalk, the car's side steps, or the flower pot on the porch. This also goes for licking water droplets off of any outside surface. If you are thirsty please, just ask for a drink.

Love,
Mommy

Uvula

Dear Caden,

Mommy recently thought it would be funny to teach you where your uvula was. Problem 1. You insist on Mommy "kissing" your 'uva' and get right in my face with your mouth wide open like a baby bird 2. You keep trying to touch it which has some undesirable effects. Now, let me show you where your coccyx is . . .

Love,
Mommy

I Hold!

Dear Caden,

You are a curious little boy, eager to learn and be involved in all that goes on. You recently became potty trained and learn to potty sitting down (Mommy decided we will master standing up later). You decided you had to go potty with Daddy, wanting a front row seat while watching Daddy closely, which made him extremely uncomfortable. Suddenly you reached out and stated, "I help Daddy, I hold!" Needless to say, you are banned from the bathroom with Daddy.

Love,
Mommy

Oooh Wow!

Dear Caden,

This morning when I was getting you dressed you looked down, grinned and very excitedly stated, "Mommy! OOOH WOW!" Yes, my dear Caden, you are 100% boy.

Love,
Mommy

ABC Gum

Dear Caden,

Please stop looking for gum underneath tabletops and on the sidewalk. I know you love your ABC's but matter how much you beg, I will never let you chew someone else's ABC (already been chewed) gum, even if it is calling out and singing your name. Mommy will buy you your own gum when you are old enough. . . so about another 15 yrs should do it.

Love,
Mommy

Burries and Yo Yos

Dear Caden,

When you saw Mommy's new body wash from Ms. Vickie, you excitedly called it "Burries and yo yos!" (Strawberries and Cheerios). Pretty observant little guy, those do kinda look like Cheerios. I place Cheerios and Frito's on the same bad smell level - thankful this smells better!

Love,
Mommy

Litter Box

Dear Caden,

It is NEVER ok to pee in the litter box. Decontamination process will follow quickly. Yes, I am sorry you are uncomfortable - I imagine the kitty litter between your buns has something to do with that. Still trying to figure out how you got in there to begin with. I take it you are feeling better?

Love,
Mommy

New Neighbors

Dear Caden,

You greet our new neighbors with a huge grin, batting your long eyelashes at them. They being to "oooh" and "awww" over you. You are eating it up, turning your cuteness factor to as high as possible. You have most definitely won them over. As we say goodbye you refuse to wave, instead you lean over and let it rip, laughing out loud. Nothing like a true welcome to the neighborhood.

Love,
Mommy

How to Sleep

Dear Caden,

Thank you for clarifying how one should sleep in bed. I can't believe I have been doing it wrong all these years. Apparently having mismatched jammies, compliments of Daddy, and sleeping with your bottom on your pillow make all the difference. I must try this immediately - perhaps I will feel more rested in the mornings.

Love,
Mommy

Got Your Nose! (or not)

Dear Caden,

If I could have only anticipated the extent of the meltdown and freak out session after I said, "Mommy's got your nose!" I wouldn't have pretended to borrow your nose. It was just so cute and buttony, I couldn't resist. I have since even offered to show it to you in the mirror to no avail. Perhaps you are too fearful of being traumatized of seeing your face noseless?  I promise it is still there and attached. If I am ever in need of a spare nose, I promise to ask someone else.

Love,
Mommy