Christmas Codes

Dear Caden,

You are going ninety to nothing making sure everything is set for Santa to come visit. Cookies for Santa and carrots for the reindeer have been placed on the table. Sparkle and Sprinkles are in Jacob and your stockings waiting for Santa to take them back home. You have asked about a million questions, curious as to how Santa gets into the house. We show you the chimney and explain the Christmas magic. This seems to satisfy your curiosity and you hop into bed. We read you a story and as we leave your room you whisper,

"Momma, tell Santa to come through the door instead of the chimney - this way he doesn't get dirty...but make sure you tell him the code to our house so the alarm doesn't go off."

Love,
Mommy


**Three years ago we got the best Christmas gift. Today we were able to take you home from the hospital from your Cranio surgery. Tonight, as I tuck you into bed, I see the glint of excitement in your eyes. The air of Christmas magic surrounds you and you whisper and giggle with Jacob. My heart is at peace and we are blessed. Tonight I have been given my greatest gift - for tonight I have my family under my roof, happy, whole and healthy.

My Christmas Eve miracle- home just in time for Christmas

3 year Cranioversary

Dear Caden,

I quietly walk into your ICU room and see you there sleeping. The nursing staff said that you have been quite the charmer. You underwent skull reconstruction surgery the day before- the longest 8 hours of Mommy's life. I have never felt so helpless, handing you over to the nurses - one cannot explain the feeling, the terror. I still cry every time I think on it. I still remember my first view of you after your surgery, I felt so terrible knowing I put you through that.

I accidentally bump your bed and your brown eyes sleepily open. You see me and immediately start to try and reach for me, but the wires and IV lines make it difficult. I gently scoop you up and hold you close. My heart aches for you. I still feel as if I did something wrong, as if there were something I could've done while you were growing inside of me, to have prevented this horrible thing from happening. Realistically I know there was nothing, but as a mother I think I will forever carry this guilt.

Your small hand rubs against my chin and I stare down into your eyes. I love you my dear Caden and I cannot wait for you to heal and to be the feisty little boy I know you are. You smile at me and it tugs my heart. You are so very strong, you are my little hero. I slowly rock you and your little eyes begin to close. Sleep my sweet Caden, have sweet dreams and know you are safe in my arms. I will forever do my best to protect you and love you. Sleep my dear Caden, for you have a lifetime of messes and delights to create. Sleep my dear Caden, for you are mine.

Love,
Mommy

The night before Cranio

Dear Caden,

It has been 3 years but it still feels like yesterday. The raw ache, the pain and nervousness flowing through my body. I hadn't truly eaten in days and a good night's sleep was a thing of the past.

I sit on the floor holding you, you had fallen asleep and I trace the outline of your beautiful face with my finger. You gently crinkle your nose then continue your journey into dreamland. I see your eyes flutter ever so slightly and I am sure you have found your way into Neverland...flying through the skies with Peter Pan and chasing after Tinkerbell. You gently sigh and I just sit there watching you breathe, holding you close so our heartbeats are in sync. You are my heart.

Even though you are completely perfect the way you are, you had a high chance of not being able to develop to your full potential due to your craniosynostosis. The Doctors took scans of your head and they said that because you had no soft spot and your saggital sutures prematurely fused closed, that you had an 80% of having developmental delays, speech and visual problems and seizures as you grow up.Your Daddy and I would do anything to make sure that you were always safe. We knew in our heart that you would have to have surgery.

The following morning Daddy and I would be taking you to Texas Children's Hospital for you to have a craniotomy. The thought of this brings me to tears yet again. We have prayed and prayed that God would bring you through this, that somehow the Doctors would come back and say you were healed, that you didn't need this surgery. Sadly it didn't happen. So I sit here holding you, I close my eyes and breathe in your smells...you smell of maple syrup from eating your favorite meal of waffles. You had a slight sticky spot behind your left ear. I smile, lean in and kiss you, whispering prayers and sentiments of love. I kept holding you throughout the night, long after my arms and legs went numb, but I was where I wanted and needed to be.

That night I slept with you in your room, my hand gently clasped around yours. I prayed for angels to guard you as we would soon greet the morning sunshine and watch it unfold into it's beauty in just a few short hours. I close my eyes and pray for you, pray for my worn heart that God would just protect us. I adore you my dear Caden. Unbeknownst to you, in a few short hours you would be thrust into a different world. Just know my dear sweet Caden, that you are perfect in our eyes and we adore you. You are loved unconditionally. You got this my love.

Love,
Mommy

Hurry, Scurry, Flurry!

Dear Jacob,

One of your most favorite things to do is to hide. You play peek-a-boo with yourself in the mirror and if there is a corner anywhere, we all know you will scurry behind it mumbling, "Hurry, scurry, flurry!" which sounds more like, "mmmy, ssssmmmy, flllmmmy!"

Recently I picked you and your brother up from school. Your teacher was discussing something about you when the director kindly said, "Speaking of Jacob, where is he?" You were gone. We had everyone looking for you. I even ran outside in the parking lot panicking and praying that you hadn't escaped out there. For a good several minutes we were calling your name and asking everyone if they had seen you. Nothing.

The director walks into the kitchen and hears a tiny giggle. There you are, crouched in the corner just watching us with a giant smile on your face. I now have 30 more grey hairs and have lost at least 10 years off my life span. I am glad at least one of us thought it was funny. And of all places you would go, why didn't I think of the kitchen first? After all, you are our meatball.

Love,
Mommy

Caden's Cuts

Dear Caden,

I send you to our room to get undressed for bath time. While I am pouring bubbles in your bathwater, over the sound of running water, I hear it. A tiny, "Cklrrrrrrrr" The unmistakable click of the hair clippers. You now look like you have mange. Thankful you still have eyebrows.

Love,
Mommy

I walk in to find this....

Oh my

I am Superman

Dear Caden,

All weekend our requests for you to listen have pretty much fallen on deaf ears. You are typically a well mannered, albeit exceptionally busy, little man. We were completely stumped at the sudden shift in your behavior. Nearing my breaking point I sat you down and said, "Caden! Why aren't you listening to us? You are not being a sweet boy at all and this makes me very sad!" You stare at me innocently and give me a hug, "Momma, my name isn't Caden. I am Superman."

Love,
Mommy

I Require

Dear Caden,

You wake up and bound into our room bright eyed and bushy tailed. We get you dressed and you look at yourself in the mirror. You turn around a few times and stand looking sideways and begin shaking your head.
"Hmmm. This will not do."
"What do you mean? It's a t-shirt and shorts. There's nothing wrong with this."
"No Momma. I need a cape."
"A cape?!"
"Yeah, a cape!"
"Why do you need a cape?"
"I need a cape so I can help save Ms. Candace and Ms. Julie."
"I think they will be fine, but that is sweet. No capes are allowed at school."
"Yeah, but I require a cape."
"Require? That is such a big word for such a small boy. Do you know what it means?"
"But I am a big boy, not a small boy. And require means I really, REALLY need it."
"No capes at school Caden."
You look at me and sigh.
"Ok. But can I require a cookie for breakfast?"

Love,
Mommy

Crumbs

Dear Caden,

I begin to unbuckle you from your car seat when you hand me something to hold.
"Here Momma, hold this."
I hold out my hand, but don't see anything.
"What is it?"
"From my eye Mommy."
"Your eye boogers?"
You let out a BIG sigh.
"Nooo, it's not a booger! It's a crumb."
"An eye crumb?"
"Uh, yeah Mommy. But Don't eat them. They aren't yummy."

Don't worry Caden. I will never eat your eye crumbs. As a matter of fact, I may hold off on eating other crumbs for a bit as well.

Love,
Mommy

Cantaloupes!

Dear Caden,

We are in the car driving to your school, Jacob is babbling and you are belting out the days of the week.
"Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wed.....MOMMA! LOOK! A CANTALOUPE!"
"A what?!"
"Yeah Momma! A CANTALOUPE! LOOK! RIGHT THERE!"
I'm looking out the window but cannot begin to fathom what you are seeing.
"Sorry buddy, I don't know what you are talking about."
"You know Momma! It's what lions eat!"
"Ooooh! You mean an antelope?"
"YES! A CANTELOUPE!"

Now I'm hungry for fruit.

Love,
Mommy

Slow Your Roll

Dear Caden,

We are getting ready for bed and you, as usual, decide to drag your feet. I keep trying to redirect you and remind you that you need to finish eating, put away your plate, wash up and brush your teeth, put your jammies on, ect. You finish one task and get distracted. I remind you of your next step and you look up at me and say, "Slow your roll Mommy."

When I asked you who told you this you informed me that Daddy told you this. Oh Daddy, you should know better.

Love,
Mommy

Suck it up Buttercup!

Dear Caden,

Boys are rough. They take lots of tumbles and get lots of scraped knees, it's just going to happen. As you have grown older, anytime you would fall, we would tell you that, "You're ok!" and just get you back up on your feet without making a big fuss. So much so that, later if you fell you would just holler back, "I ok!" and carry on with whatever you were doing. We are trying to raise a tough boy.

Ever since you started at school we have noticed that when you fall you will start wailing as if somebody ate your last cookie. Terrible, awful crying with crocodile tears to fill the Nile. My tough boy is becoming a softie. To try and get you back to where you were, anytime you fall / bump / walk into/ touch / breathe/ or look at something that makes you start crying from "pain", I will help you up and say, "You're ok! Suck it up buttercup!" Several kisses later to ensure you aren't truly injured and a hug, you typically just skip away until the next trauma - approximately 3 minutes later depending on your state of tiredness. Then we have less than a minute.

This morning while getting ready for work I stubbed my toe on the bathroom counter. It bent my toenail back and I saw stars. Heck, I saw planets and asteroids and black holes. You, being ever so thoughtful, start patting my back and tell me, "Awww, you're ok! Suck it up buttercup!" You plant a wet kiss on my leg and hop off. Fighting through the pain I call out after you, "You forgot my hug ladybug!" to which you reply, "After awhile crocodile!" Maybe being a softie isn't so bad after all.

Love,
Mommy

Best Day Ever

Dear Caden,

Every Friday morning you jump out of bed and excitedly remind us, "It's Friday! It's Doughnut Day!" I am still confused as to how this day came about. We went and got doughnuts ONE Friday and all of a sudden every Friday is "Doughnut Day!" Funny how that works.

On the way to the doughnut shop you insist that you must have a "green doughnut with sprinkles."
"What if they don't have a green doughnut?"
"Trust me, they have it."
"Ummm, ok. I hope they do. Why a green doughnut?"
"Because I'm a Ninja Turtle and I need my energy."

We order your green doughnut with sprinkles and I hand you your bag. You flash me a grin and giggle with excitement and start singing the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle song.  I hear the bag rustle as you peek inside and I hear you say under your breath, "Best. Day. Ever."

I will treasure these moments with you. Your excitement over a single green doughnut with sprinkles, days with lots of energy fueled by sugar and ninja turtles. The smile on your face steals my heart and I can't help but whisper under my breath, "Yes, Best. Day. Ever."

Love,
Mommy

Bird!

Dear Jacob,

We have been trying to teach you the names of different animals and the sounds that they make. On your wall by your changing table there are several pictures of animals and we usually play around pointing to them and making their noises.

I heard you say it yesterday but I wasn't too sure of what you were saying. Today you were very clear. As I am putting you in your car seat you point your finger out and said, "bird!" I look and didn't see any, so I said, "No birds, silly Jacob." As we are driving to your daycare you start pointing again, "Bird!" Then I see it. A massive mosquito perched on your leg.

They say that everything is bigger in Texas. This includes the mosquitoes, which really should be considered for the Texas State Bird.

Love,
Mommy

Mischievous Michelangelo

Dear Caden,

We are on the way home from school yesterday and you inform me that, "Michagangego (Michelangelo the Ninja Turtle) got in trouble while at school today."
"Oh, did he?"
Getting louder..."Yeah. He did a big no no."
"What happened?"
"He wasn't using his listening ears and got time out."
"Goodness! That's not very nice is it?"
Even louder..."Nope!"
"Caden, were you Michelangelo?"
Very quietly..."Maybe."
Extremely loud..."Look Momma! Chickfila!"

Nice try. We need to discuss this Michagangego's behavior a bit more.

Love,
Mommy

Missing TARDIS

Dear Caden,

You are getting ready for bed when suddenly you just stop and begin hopping around.
"Momma! Oh no!"
"What?! Are you ok?" I am thinking you stubbed your toe or stepped on something.
"Momma! Who stole my TARDIS?!"
"Who stole your...what? Your TARDIS?"
"Yeah! My TARDIS is gone!"
"Oh no! What are you going to do Caden? This is terrible!"
"I know who stole it!" You begin flapping your arms, your hopping becoming quite frantic.
"Who?!" I stand, waiting with baited breath, wondering who could have committed such an atrocity.
"The Ninja Turtles took it!" You start kicking and chopping, showing off your amazing ninja moves.
"How are you going to get it back?"
"I am going to climb on a ladder to the ceiling and get it back!"
"Ohhhh, yes, that makes sense."
"Yeah, so please put the ladder in my bedroom before you leave, Ok Momma?"

Mmmmm, sorry buddy, but you will have to come up with a different way to get your TARDIS back. Something tells me that putting a ladder in your room is a recipe for disaster. Perhaps we can lure the Ninja Turtles out by leaving a slice of pizza on the kitchen counter instead.

Love,
Mommy

Microwave Munchies

Dear Caden,

You know what a microwave is. You've seen me use it many times and you enjoy helping me press the buttons to get it started. Therefore, I am legitimately stumped and have no clue as to why today you are sprawled out on the couch crying, and I mean hard-core, devastated crying. You are crushed. Apparently today you feel that this mystical machine has eaten your dinner and "I am soooo hungry and it ate it all gone! And that was the last piece of chicken strips and I like chicken strips!" You finally were consoled once I picked you up and you could see through the door that your food was there and intact. Oh my sweet, dear Caden. We've all had days like this.

Love,
Mommy

Lollipop Tears

Dear Jacob,

I see your beautiful, blue eyes flood with tears and you begin to frantically move your hand across your chest signing "please." I have come to the realization that life is difficult. It is even more so when you lose your beloved, sticky lollipop.

Love,
Mommy

Missing Letters

Dear Mommy,

I miss my letters that you were writing me. Where did they go? I know it isn't for lack of material on my part. Remember the time I painted the bathroom mirror with toothpaste? You muttered about that for days. Or when I spilled half the bottle of the bubbles for bath time on the floor, and then I tried to hide it by covering it up with the bathroom mat? You found out anyway. By the way, I know you had just mopped the bathroom floor but for future reference, I prefer the smell of strawberries to the awful smell of your stuff. I told you and told you it was better. Get to writing or we will be forced to send 'Mikagangelo' (Michelangelo) the Ninja Turtle after you.  You've been warned.

Love,
Caden & Jacob the sidekick

Jesus, Corn and Fish sticks

Dear Caden,

About a month ago you asked where Jesus lives. We told you that He lives in your heart and that you can talk to Him any time that you want. You pondered on this for awhile and then asked, "Does He live in my tummy too?" We said that, yes, I suppose He does. You then asked us, "If I throw up is He in my mouth?" We told you that Jesus is everywhere and all around us.

Recently a big storm blew in during the night and I went to check on you to make sure the lightening and thunder hadn't frightened you. Somehow, sometime in the middle of the night you had thrown up and fell asleep in it. You were COVERED. I quickly gave you a bath and during the bath you looked at me and said, "Momma, Jesus is out of my mouth and all over my bed!" That He is my sweet Caden. Your bed was covered with Jesus, corn and fish sticks. I suggest just letting Jesus out next time; it's less messy.

Love,
Mommy

Pockets

Dear Caden,

We are pulling out of Target and you tell me, "Momma, I like your car."
"Thank you, Caden. I like it too."
"I don't have a car. Only little beep beeps."
"That's right. You have to be bigger to have and drive a car."
"But I am bigger."
"You are getting bigger, but you have to be big like Mommy and Daddy."
"Yeah, but I am bigger than Jacob."
"Yes, you are. You still have to be bigger though."
"I have to be a Mommy and Daddy first?"
"Not necessarily a Mommy and Daddy, but big like us."
"So I have to be so, so big that I can't fit in your pockets anymore?"

Perhaps carrying you around in the baby slings when you were little translated to pockets. No matter how big you may get, you will always have a place in my pockets.

Love,
Mommy

Coprolites

Dear Caden,

We are wandering the majestic hallways at the Houston Museum of Natural Science, breathing in the sights and smells of ages past. Your eyes sparkle with excitement as we show you the dinosaur bones and other fossils. Question after question spills from your lips as your little mind tries to absorb everything. We are strolling through when suddenly I hear you say loudly, "Momma! Come quick! Look! There's a big poo poo!"
Your voice gets stronger and seems to grow louder, reverberating off the walls. You are insistent that I come look at this monstrosity.
"Momma! Somebody poo poo'd at the museum!" Your face is a mixture of shock and amusement.
"Shhhhh Caden, that's not poop. That's called a coprolite."
Your voice raises an octave as you correct me, "No! It's a giant poop! "
I do my best to stifle the laughter building up inside me and we begin to hurry off and head toward the next exhibit as your giggles and gawks were getting louder.
As we head out I overhear another boy tell his father, "Daddy, look at that giant poop! Why would someone keep their poop? That is awesome!"
Of all the things we saw today, this is what you came home talking about. I must admit, it does look just like it. I bet it is a big hit with all the boys.

Love,
Mommy

Dancing Eyebrows

Dear Caden,

You are in trouble because you weren't using your "listening ears" and just kept getting into things.
"Caden, please come here."
You hop to me on one foot, your eyes looking everywhere but at me.
"Eyes please."
You look at me and then look away.
"Caden, please look at Mommy when she talks to you."
Your big brown eyes stare back at me without blinking. I begin to talk to you about how you need to ask before you touch the items on my bathroom counter - that yes, I understand toothpaste is fun to squirt out of the tube, but you do not need to use the entire tube in one setting. You begin to squirm, staring at the imaginary fuzz floating in the air.
"Eyes please."
I continue talking and you, standing as still as a statue, begin wiggling your eyebrows up and down in sync with every word that came out of my mouth. I cannot express to you how difficult it is to have a serious conversation with a 3 year old when they have exaggerated dancing eyebrows. Needless to say, your eyebrows danced you out of a time out. Smooth.

Love,
Mommy

How to eat fried worms

Dear Caden,

We are playing outside and you are flitting here and there, not staying put in one spot longer than 5 seconds. Every once in awhile you would stop and feed me one of your goldfish and then hop off again. I close my eyes, enjoying the sounds of you tinkering around when you pop by my side and say, "Here Momma, eat this." I keep my eyes closed and open my mouth, expecting a salty, cheesy snack. Instead, my mouth is filled with a sour, slimy taste with a side of dirt. I instantly sit up, eyes opened wide and begin spitting out what you stuck in my mouth. A worm. You stuck a worm in my mouth. And it was still alive. I look at you and you have dirt around your mouth. I am just hoping you didn't eat one too. Not too sure I should continue reading "How to eat fried worms" to you. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Love,
Mommy

Poop Vents

Dear Caden,

Your fascination with poop has increased exponentially once you realized the function of the restroom vent. Now, you have known about the vent - or "fan"- as you have always called it, for quite some time. For some reason the light bulb went off in your little head and you now have a much deeper understanding of the vent and it's true purpose after asking a bazillion (not an exaggeration) questions. This weekend you have tried to go poop at least 3,486,354 times, and it is only Saturday, just so you could turn the vent on and whisk away the stinky smell.

Today as we were playing outside with some friends, one of them happened to poot. This of course made you come to me giggling hysterically.
"Momma! She pooted!" *snicker*
"Shhhh Caden, it isn't polite to say that out loud and point out when other people poot."
Still giggling, "Momma! It's stinky! Can we turn on the vent?"
"There are no vents outside Caden, just in the restroom. Shhhh...stop talking about it please. Go play."
You run off, still smiling that the neighbor had pooted.

This evening while saying our nighttime prayers you asked Jesus for a poop vent outside. I tried to stifle my laughter as I reminded you that vents were just for inside bathrooms.
"Yeah, but Jesus answers prayers Momma."
. . . That I can't argue with. Of course, my son would pray for a poop vent instead of world peace, or waffles. It does make me wonder what the true purpose of tornadoes are though. . .

Love,
Mommy

Happy 7th Anniversary

Dear Caden,

Seven years ago I walked down the aisle and met your father at the altar. Marriage isn't easy, but it is absolutely amazing. There have been many challenges, many tears, but many triumphs and lots of laughter. Your father and I are best friends and marrying him was absolutely the best decision I ever made. He gave me my greatest gifts: both you and and your brother, Jacob. My world is infinitely better with you guys in it. Thank you for allowing me the honor of being your mother. Marriage is something that you must work at and work for. Our marriage is built on three cords: Your Daddy, Me and God. For without God, we have nothing. Everything is built around Him. Our marriage is one built on laughter. If you cannot laugh at yourself, then you need to learn to. It just allows for a breath a fresh air and people tend to want to be around you more because you exude happiness. Be nerdy together, have inside jokes and enjoy doing crazy off the wall things - it keeps the spice going. Always put more into the relationship than you take out, live and love like there is no tomorrow, for we are not guaranteed another morning. Tell your spouse how handsome/beautiful they are when they are feeling so sick and have dragon breath. . . they may just say, "yeah, whatever.", but the love and specialness that you just made them feel will linger. Do things together, go out and spend time with each other. At the same time, be yourself. Don't forget who you were before you got married. This is important, because you must be strong in yourself before you become strong with each other. Even though you are married it is extremely important that you never stop courting or dating your spouse. Let them know that even after all these years that your hearts still skips a beat when you see them, or that you get butterflies in your stomach when you hear their voice over the phone. Don't get so caught up in the day to day drama and chaos of life that can suck all the fun out. Today's society takes relationships, uses them and just spits them out. If it gets too hard, it is easy to say "I quit." and move on. Take the words, "I Quit" out of your vocabulary, they should never be considered or used. You invested so much into this, build your relationship on a solid foundation and fight for it. Some days are better than others, but every day is worth it. Learn to say "I love you" every day and mean it. Look them in the eye when you say it, or sneak up behind them and whisper it in their ear, but say it. Let them know that you not only love them but are IN love with them, for there will come a day when you long to hear those words from your loved one but all you will get back is the echo of Life's ticking clock. Learn to do something that your spouse likes to do, just to spend time with him: be it fishing, building up old cars or computer gaming all day. On the same token, allow them to spend time with you and have the patience to teach them. Marriage is a box of crazy: crazy laughter, crazy tears, crazy nights, crazy meals, crazy bubble baths with crazy kids, crazy late nights of reading books to little people and making fort tents, But you know what? It is the best crazy 7 years I have ever had - here's to many, many more. *Raises glass*

Love,
Mommy

Caden's Cookies

Dear Caden,

When my most favorite 3 yr old bats his long lashes over his big brown doe eyes and tells me that he *NEEDS* cookies - and not just any cookies - they must be : Spiderman, car and dinosaur cookies, then I decide the next two days must be spent making this happen. You are a bit spoiled.

Love,
Mommy

The cookies were a success!

Caden's cookie request

Babies

Dear Caden,

Babies, babies every where! Our dear friends, Nathaniel and Holly, are expanding their family! The day of their baby shower I was explaining to you that I would be leaving for a little bit for the shower, but that I would be back. You were Mr. Grumpy Gills and desperately needed a nap.

"I'll be back. I'm going to see Aunt Holly - she is going to be having a baby soon, like baby Jacob, but a girl."
"Ummm. Yeah. . . why?"
"Because they love each other and  God is blessing them with a baby, that is why."
"Oh."
You scamper to your room and I can see you thinking on this bit of information.
"Yeah, well I have a baby toooooo!"
"Really? Tell me about your baby, Caden."
"I marry Queen Elsa and our baby is Hiccup! He likes dragons."

I believe someone has seen Frozen and How to Train Your Dragons one too many times.

Love,
Mommy

Tiger and Lilly

Dear Caden,

Tonight's letter leaves me with a bit of mixed emotions. Today we took our cats, Tiger and Lilly, to their new home with our wonderful friends who so graciously said they would love them for forever. Daddy and I have had Tiger and Lilly longer than you have been alive. Tiger loved playing with you in your playroom and would be Catzilla as you built buildings and drove cars around him. Lilly was always Mommy's cat, my cuddly bug and my comfort on rough days. It became harder and harder for me to keep giving them the love they deserved with my health not always in best shape. Caden, I feel in a sense that I have failed you, or at least robbed you of a great chance at love and endless delight. They were your friends, you would run up to them and just hug them and yell to the ceiling of how much you loved them. Today is a day that I am angry with myself and disappointed that my body isn't what it should be. I am young, yes, but my body is that of a much older person. I am trying my love, I am trying so hard to give this life my best for you, and for Jacob. I promise to take you to visit them and I promise I will show you pictures as their new owners send them to me.

When we dropped them off you didn't even seem to notice. You were too interested in playing with the toys that were around. I was so thankful that you didn't seem to be upset as I was a complete mess inside and if you would've made one peep I would have been bawling. It hit tonight when we put you into bed.
"Mommy? Where Tiger go? At his new house?"
"Yes baby, they are with their new family now and getting love from them and playing over there."
"But Mommy, I love him this much..." (you squish your pointer finger and thumb together really tight) and whisper "It's bigger on the inside."
If you know anything of Dr. Who, then you will understand this reference. This is when I had to step out of the room to 'check on Jacob'. This is when I completely lost it.

Tiger and Lilly, you were amazing. There were times you drove us nuts, like when you tripped me going down the stairs while pregnant. However, all the times that you loved us unconditionally, allowed Caden to pull your tail and talk about your 'bellybutton' and would sit in my lap and love me...those times will never be forgotten. May you find love in your new home, I know they were excited to have you and you are in excellent hands. Just know how much we love you too and how hard this was for me. I miss you guys already. Crazy how little furballs steal your heart when you aren't looking . . .

Love,
Mommy

'Sploding Bladder

Dear Caden,

We are sitting at the table when you announce that you need to use the restroom. Once finished you came back and come up to Daddy saying, "Wow Daddy! I had so much pee pee my bladder was going to 'splode! "
He looks at you and says, " Really? Wow, that is a lot! I am glad you went, thank you for going in the potty."'
Your face gets bright and you excitedly tell him, "Ohhh yeah! Do you know how much that is? You know how much 'splode is?!  It is so much pee pee it can fill the bathtub! That's a lot!"
Enough to fill a bathtub, huh? Yes, my dear Caden, that would definitely make my bladder explode too.

love,
Mommy

Happy Birthday Jacob!

Dear Jacob,

Last year I woke up the previous morning just knowing this was it- today was different. I couldn't get comfortable, beside the fact that you were camping out on the nerve by my ribs which just made life miserable. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't bend, I couldn't eat, I could barely move. The moment I finally sat on the couch, I had to get up to go to the restroom. I thought I was going to die. I was beyond miserable, the pain that I had was ridiculous. Don't forget the fact that my pelvis wasn't opening and you were whacking your head on my bones. Needless to say, I was ready for you to be out. That morning I had received a call to schedule your c-section in case you chose not to show in the meantime. Literally, one hour after that call, you had other plans. My midwife/doula came (Dr. Marianne Moore), my best friend Samantha Eustis, my amazing neighbor Jessica Caballero, my dear childhood friend, Jess Hankamer, and your Daddy all were at my side while I labored at home. Dr. Moore decided that we needed to head to the hospital because I was in so much pain but I didn't seem to be progressing as much as she would like. Off we went to TCH Pavilion for Women.

We spent the night in observation and the next day we get admitted to the laboring unit. That afternoon, around 3p, my water broke. I opted for an epidural because I knew the contractions would become stronger since my water had broken. Soon after the epidural I suddenly couldn't breathe well, my throat was closing in on me. I began coughing and I felt very tired. The next moment I open my eyes I see that my room had become filled to the brim with Dr's and nurses. I see your Daddy's worried face above me and he is calling my name. We are not sure what happened, but for some reason I passed out and your heart rate plummeted. Little did we know that that was just the beginning of the excitement that you would cause during this delivery. Several hours later they checked me and the look on their faces told me everything. I was bleeding everywhere and they said that you were in danger. We immediately went to the OR and I remember the urgency in their steps. The words they spoke were candy coated because their faces gave it all away.

Fuzziness, my eyelids seem so very heavy. I hear your Daddy asking what is wrong with me. The anesthesiologist said it was my medications that were making me sleepy. The surgeon swears and I remember someone else saying, "Oh my God, how. . .?" You, my dear Jacob, were no longer in my uterus. You went through my old c-section scar and birthed yourself into my abdominal cavity. When the surgeon made the incision you were there - RIGHT THERE - not where you were supposed to be. My uterus had ruptured and I had an artery tear. I look over at the anesthesiologist and he had tears in his eyes. The surgeon peeks over the blue shield and said that you were a miracle. A living, breathing miracle. It was difficult to focus, my head was hurting and I felt so very cold. I remember them handing you to Daddy and trying to rush him out of the room, but that he stood firm and he brought you over to me. You were so beautiful, so perfect. I tried to look at Daddy, but his face was clouded, he reached over and kissed me and the nurses all but pushed him out the door. Then the darkness fell.

One cannot truly express the love, joy and utter peace that I felt. I found myself standing in a long hallway with walls covered in photographs of people; people of all ages, ethnicity, creeds and eras of bygone past. I look up and the walls continue on as far as I could see, there was no end. I begin walking, realizing I was no longer hurting, I walked faster when suddenly I see a light. The light opened up to a crowd of people talking, singing and laughing. Their faces were not clear, but the joy and peace they had was tangible. Suddenly I see him, my heart reached out and I wanted to race to him, but I couldn't. My Grandpa Brown walked toward me and sat down on the bench beside me that was lining the wall. His face was beautiful, still had the strong laugh creases by his eyes and the dimple on his nose. Oh how I loved that dimple on his nose. His silver grey hair shined and he had an aura about him, I could feel his love and feel his peace. My Grandpa began to speak to me - oh. My heart had missed him so and just hearing his voice and talking to him . . . we spoke of many things and I asked many questions. My heart heart was full and I was happy. He stood up and said it was time for me to go. I didn't understand this, I didn't want to go, I was happy, felt loved and at peace. Oh the PEACE. I reached out to hug him, touch him, but he told me that I couldn't. He told me it wasn't my time yet and that I had to go. Go? I didn't want to leave this place. I wanted to stay where there was complete healing, complete love, complete joy and complete peace. He looked at me and said, "I love you Jerusha. I have your other two babies with me and I have held Caden and I have held Jacob, now you must go back and hold your miracles. You must go and be their mother."

The lights are glaring and I hear my surgeon calling for the general surgeon because he thinks he may have perforated my bowel. I look up and I feel pressure in my abdomen, it was uncomfortable. I make a sound and the anesthesiologist looks over and me and whispers in my ear, "You are doing great, you are going to be just fine. Keep hanging on, you are going to make it. Jacob is perfect, you did good. Jacob is your miracle baby - you both are miracles. There is definitely a God and He is on your side." He readjusted my face mask and I fall back under.

I wake up as I am being wheeled into the recovery room. I see the tense and worried looks of Dr. Moore, Sam, Jess, Jessica and your Daddy. I remember asking about you over and over again. You were placed in my arms and I felt such a peace. I knew that it was going to be ok. You were just in the arms of Heaven and you were here for a reason. Later I was told by the surgeon that only 1 in 5 women survive what happened to me and that most babies do not. We were lucky, blessed and true miracles.

Today you wake up with giggles, your blue eyes glittering in the light and you flash me your cheeky grin. You are a ball of excitement and happiness. Today you turn one year old. I still can't believe that one full year has passed since your exciting entry into this world. You have filled our lives with laughter and chaos and your bubbly personality lightens up the room. Your brother, Caden, absolutely adores you and you are always looking to play with him. I pick you up and I breathe in deep. I am able to snatch the lingering smell of baby, but I know that all too soon it will be replaced with the smells of toddlerhood - that of exciting adventures. I gently squish your chunky legs and kiss your belly knowing that soon they will be replaced by leaner legs, perfect for running and chasing. You grin at me and I know your 3 top teeth and 3 bottom will soon be surrounded by more chompers, perfect for stealing Mommy's food and eating it. I kiss your little fat toes and feel the softness against my cheek, knowing that all too soon they will become stinky toes like Caden's and I won't go near them until after bath time. Today, on your first birthday, you are still my baby. Today, and every day, you are my miracle. Happy 1st birthday my Dear Jacob.

Love,
Mommy

It's my party and I will cry if I want to

It's present time!

Poly Olys

Dear Caden,

Your newest obsession in life is that of bugs. You are fascinated by the way they fly, crawl, their coloring, what they eat - literally, anything that deals with bugs, you are all over it. Last night, while you were in the bath, you informed me that you found a roly poly at school. Your face lit with excitement as you described it to me and how you let it crawl all over your arm. You proudly then told me that you didn't squish him because "Poly Olys don't bite Momma, they only lick you."
"Ahhh...Roly Polys don't lick silly Caden."
"Yes they do!"
"How do you know they lick? Did you see it's tongue?"
"No silly Momma. They lick because I licked it."
I choked on my spit and look at you.
"You did what?! Caden! You don't lick bugs! That is nasty! Ok?! Please don't lick bugs again because you can get really sick from that. Ok?...Ok?!?!"
"Yeah, ok." You face held a look of disappointment.
I try to soften my panic by praising you. "Thank you for not squishing him. Roly Polys are nice bugs. Did you put him back down so he could play with his other Roly Poly friends?"
You stare at me and I know that look.
"Yeah, but I couldn't because he got stuck on my tongue and he got lost."
"...Lost?"
You won't eat pizza but you will lick and accidentally eat a Roly Poly. I hear in foreign countries grubs and other insects are delicacies. Gross.

Love,
Mommy

Our Crazy Life

Dear Caden,

Being a parent is fun. I say things that I never thought I would ever say to another human. Our typical day usually consists of one of the following phrases:

Put your tongue back in your mouth
Stop licking me...and Jacob...and Daddy
Don't eat off the floor, it's yucky
No, your ketchup does not need a hat
No, it isn't your birthday
Yes, we can sing you the birthday song
No, it isn't Halloween and there isn't anymore Halloween candy
No, your socks can't make you fly
Of course your socks make you run faster
Please stop trying to feed Tiger (our cat) your fish sticks
Please take your macaroni noodle out of your nose
No, Mommy will not toot in your bath so you can have extra bubbles
Yes, if you want to toot in your bath to make extra bubbles, go ahead
Stop drinking the bath water - this includes trying to gargle with it
Please stop sticking your carrots on or in between your toes
No, we cannot have a swimming pool with water in the living room
Don't eat that flower
Please stop collecting June bugs in your pant pockets to "surprise" me with later
Love-bugs don't bite, there is no need to have a total meltdown when one touches you
Wow! You did poop a shark- great job!
No, your tinker did not fall off- your tinker is in the front (half asleep feeling your bum)
Of course eating dragon fruit will make you breathe fire

This list, of course, is just a drop in our crazy bucket of life. You and your brother have turned my life completely upside down, dumped all my sanity on the ground and smeared glitter and boogers on my walls. Everything I plan tends to never happen quite the way I expect. Our family seems to take the spontaneous and scenic route of life while sitting front seat on the insanity train. I am learning to enjoy this crazy ride, sticking my head out the window and feeling the wind rush in my face. I am learning that sometimes running outside while it is pouring down rain and splashing in puddles is the best therapy there is. That sticky hands and gooey kisses are the absolute best. That the long nights holding and praying over a feverish child, rocking them slowly and feeling their heart beat in sync with yours is more healing than any medicine out there. That wiping away tears and snot over a meltdown because your carrot accidentally touched your ketchup and giving a hug like only a Mommy can, is what I was made for. The looks and squeals of pure excitement that you and your brother give me when I walk into a room, no matter how long and frustrating my day may have been, make it all worth it. That I prefer handmade scribbles of love so much more than any gift that you could ever purchase. Even though I am still learning, thank you for making me into the woman I am today. Thank you for making me into a Mommy - your Mommy. I adore you with every breath in my body.

Love,
Mommy

Holding Caden 2010

Holding Jacob 2013

Exploding Wipes

Dear Jacob,

Your look of utter surprise convinces me that this was not your fault. Obviously the wipes container just exploded and you were trying to keep the wipes from going everywhere. I am so thankful you were there to save the day, I don't know what chaos would have ensued had you not been there.

Love,
Mommy

Oatmeal

Dear Caden,

You are eating away at your oatmeal, completely engrossed in it's gooey deliciousness. You are slurping and slopping, oatmeal smeared on your cheeks. Daddy leans over and you offer him a bite. Daddy looks at you with trepidation and politely says, "No thanks, I'll live." You sigh and continue eating. There it was, the last bite of oatmeal. You look at me proudly and say, "Laaaaaast one! I make a happy bowl!" I look at you and and ask, "Well? Where's my bite?" You stop what you are doing and look me squarely in the eyes as you shovel in the last bit. "No Momma. You'll live."

Love,
Mommy

Whatcha Doing?

Dear Caden,

"Momma, whatcha doing?" Your giant brown eyes look at me with curiosity.

"I am cooking dinner for us."

A full thirty seconds pass and you brought your stool to the counter so you can watch and assist me.

"Momma, watcha doing?"

"I am still cooking, what are you doing?"

The past few days you have been asking us this question quite a lot, to the point that I want to hit my head on a wall. While I don't mind your curiosity and I encourage learning, please wait at least until I have started on a different task or wait at least a minimum of 5 minutes before re-asking.

"Momma, watcha doing?"

I look at you, trying to hide my frustration of this question that has seemingly taken over our recent conversations. "I am still doing the same thing that I was doing when you last asked. What are you doing, Caden?"

You giggle and tell me, "I asking you, Whatcha doing Momma!"

Love,
Mommy

How to Train a Dragon

Dear Caden,

You eye the dragon fruit with trepidation.
"I no like it."
"That's ok Caden, would you like to hold it?"
You look at it for a minute and then hold out your hand, giggling when I give it to you. You fiddle with it for a few and then hand it back to me.
"I no like it."
You disappear into the living room, dancing and singing. Suddenly I see you at my feet.
"Momma, I need fire!"
"Come again? Fire?!"
"Momma, I need fire!" Your little fingers reach for the dragon fruit.
"Dragons eat this and have fire. I need fire!"
The next thing I know, you have devoured half of the dragon fruit and have begun roaring and "breathing" fire. Your eyes sparkle with excitement as you stumble around pretending to a fierce dragon. I cannot help but laugh at you being that you refuse to eat pizza, but will inhale a dragon fruit all because you think it will make you breathe fire.

This may be a good time to change the batteries in our smoke detectors. Also, can anyone give me a tip on how to train a dragon?

Love,
Mommy

Sharing

Dear Caden,

I see you leaning in towards Jacob at the dinner table.
"Caden, please leave Jacob alone so he can eat."
You scoot back and continue eating, talking about how you made Olaf with play-doh today.
Two minutes pass and I see your hand quickly dart from Jacob's tray. I didn't think anything of it until I saw you do it again two more times.
"Caden."
You stop and I can see your mind doing double time, the twinkle of mischief glinting in your eyes.
"Mommy, you beautiful."
"Thank you Caden, but what are you doing?"
"Mommy, let it go! Let it go!"
"Caden, we aren't singing Frozen. What were you doing with Jacob?"
"I sharing Momma. I sweet and I share with Jacob. Jacob hungry."
We have a deal at our house - if you eat your vegetables, you get a cookie. I noticed that all of your peas are missing from your plate. I must give you credit for being thoughtful and sharing - perhaps you wouldn't mind sharing your cookie as well?

Love,
Mommy

Make a Cake!

Dear Caden,

"Momma! I have a surprise for you!"
"Oh, do you? That is really sweet of you Caden."
"It's in my pockets Momma...here get it."
You come towards me with your hip out. I should've known better, after all, you are 100% boy.
I feel something crunchy that breaks into pieces. The more I try and get it, the more there seems to be. I finally empty out your pockets to find : 1 small stick, a rock and 4 June bugs
"See Momma! I surprise you! We can make a cake!"
While I am pleased that your imagination is in high gear, please do not bring home bugs in your pockets. Also, bugs don't belong in cakes. Ever.

Love,
Mommy

Leaking

Dear Caden,

You are sitting on Daddy and suddenly shove your finger into his belly button. Daddy politely asks you, "Caden, please take your finger out of my belly button." You respond with, "I can't because there is a hole in your belly button and you are leaking out." Of course you decided that you needed a more in-depth explanation and we decided to get out the flashlight. You were able to inspect all of our belly buttons to your heart's contentment and ensured all of us that we were safe from "oozing and leaking out." So thankful you were able to look into this for us, because it could've been quite the situation.

Love,
Mommy

Ladybugs

Dear Caden,

I pick you up from school and during the drive home we always talk about how your day was and what you learned. On this day you proceeded to tell me that a red bug flew on you today while playing outside. I said, "Oh! Was is one of those sweet and pretty lady bugs that mommy really likes?" You said, "Yup! It your fav'rite too Mommy! And it bit my shoe, so I squished him!" Sorry ladybugs of Pearland; I tried.

Love,
Mommy

Freddy

Dear Caden,

Dinner has been eaten and it is time for a bath so I tell you it is time to go upstairs. You love to undress downstairs in the laundry room and run upstairs screaming, "Naked boy! I've got a naked bootie! Don't get me!" Today, however, you were very interested in your toys and it took some conjoling to get you going. I start tickling you and say, "You ready Freddy?" You immediately stop what you are doing and give me a look of horror. "Who's Freddy?!"

Love,
Mommy

A Moment

Dear Caden,

I leave you and Jacob with Daddy for a mere moment and walk into finding this. Still trying to figure this one out.

Love,
Mommy

Belly Buttons

Dear Caden,

No, you do not need a new belly button. No, you cannot feed Jacob through his belly button, please take the fish stick out of his belly button. No, I don't know why Daddy has so much fuzz in his belly button and you don't, but you will get there one day I am sure of it. No, your belly button doesn't talk while you are asleep. No, your belly button doesn't burp. No, Mommy only has one belly button and not the 5 you keep trying to say - those are scars from my surgeries. No, Mommy's belly button isn't thirsty. No, you're belly button isn't thirsty either - please take the straw out of it. No, Daddy's belly button didn't eat your finger - just take it out. No, your belly button doesn't toot and no, your hiney does not fall off if you unscrew your belly button (thank you Daddy). And once again, Tiger's belly button is not located underneath his tail.

Love,
Mommy

Missed Memo

Dear Caden,

Did I miss something? Since when did you grow tall enough to even be able to do this? Obviously you didn't get the memo either - that kids aren't supposed to raid the refrigerator until their teens.

Love,
Mommy

Love

Dear Caden,

Daddy is holding you in his arms as we say your nighttime prayers. You have one arm curled around Daddy's neck and you reach for me, pulling me close. You hug us tightly together and I feel your breath tickle my neck as you say, "I really love you guys."

I have many goals and aspirations of what I want to do or be as a parent. One of the main ones is for you and Jacob to know that you are loved - truly loved - unconditionally for who you are today and not for who you might be. That you are perfect just the way you are.

So tonight, as I lay in bed with your simple words echoing through my mind, I can't help but smile. My heart is happy. Oh my dear Caden - for it is I who really love you guys.

Love,
Mommy

Situated

Dear Caden,

You hop onto the couch and reach for the blanket. I try to hand you the sliced apples that you requested, but you put your hand up and in such a grown up way stated, "Wait Momma. I need to get situated." You flick your socks off your feet, twisting and turning until you snuggle under the covers to your satisfaction. "Ahhhh! Ok! I situated Momma!" I must admit, sometimes when you say words that are bigger than you, it is hard to keep a straight face - you make me smile, and make me proud. Your little personality has definitely situated perfectly in my heart.

Love,
Mommy

Flowers for Mommy

Dear Caden,

You come bounding to me, your smile ever so bright.
"Mommy! I bring you flowers! For you!" You melt into my arms, your face expectant as you hand me my flowers.

I am one lucky Mommy.

Love,
Mommy

Elbows

Dear Caden,

Today, as all good mothers do, I challenged you to lick your elbow. Forty three minutes later you are still doing your best to conquer the unattainable. I pray that you try to meet all of life's challenges with such vigor and enthusiasm. At the very least, it will provide much entertainment to all involved.

Love,
Mommy

Starry Cheeks

Dear Caden,

We are playing with your toys and you are zooming your spiderman car everywhere when suddenly you stop to sit and curl yourself into my lap. You place your hands on both sides of my face and look squarely in my eyes. "I love you momma. Look! You have stars on your cheeks!" (my face lotion has a shimmer) My heart is mush, I am loving this moment.
Then you lick me. "I want stars on my tongue!" My cheeks are mush, yet in a gross way, I am still loving this moment. But you are disgusting.

Love,
Mommy

Shadow Bamming

Dear Caden,

If it prolongs you from going to bed then you are all over it. Tonight you seemed to be fascinated with your shadow. Of course, shadows are nothing new to you however, tonight you had to show me the shadow to everything.  Daddy's shadow, Mommy's shadow, Jacob's shadow, your tongue's shadow and of course, your booger's shadow. You then proceed to tell me that your shadow is too big and you must "BAM!" it to make it small enough to fit in your pocket. After about 5 minutes of you bamming, you felt it was finally small enough, but then you realized your jammies didn't have pockets. Thankfully I was able to convince you that you could safe keep it in your sock which then led to you showing me your sock's shadow, your toe's shadow. . .

Love,
Mommy

Caden "Bamming" his shadow

Ceiling Socks

Dear Caden,

Tonight you asked if Daddy would help you touch the ceiling. He gets you situated so he can hoist you up and you suddenly pipe up, "Wait! Daddy! My socks help me do it."
Thinking you were telling us that your socks would help you 'fly' to touch the ceiling, we said, "You bet they will."
Daddy relifts you up in the air and suddenly your little leg shoots out as if doing a karate kick just to touch the ceiling.
Oh, but of course! Because no one uses their hands to touch the ceiling anymore, that's too easy. It must be done with the super sock.

Love,
Mommy

Meatball Thighs

Dear Jacob,

Caden must've been on to something the other night. Considering you have a good chunk of Italian heritage in you and you are quite the chunky monkey, "Meatball" seems to be the perfect nickname. Oh those thighs....

Love,
Mommy

My Meatball

Dear Caden,

Jacob is sitting in the middle of the floor, wide eyed and watching your every move. You bounce from one toy to another, skipping and laughing. Every once in awhile you will pause to plant a kiss on Jacob's fuzzy head which elicits a squeal of delight from him. You watch over him carefully, choosing from the mass of toys in your playroom to find the perfect toy in which you find acceptable to allow him to bathe in slobber. You sit down beside him to show him how to roll the truck back and forth. Jacob is elated and his face shows his adoration for you. You decide that he needs to move so you try and pick him up. Much to your dismay, you state he's too heavy and that, "You (Mommy) do it." I move him to your desired spot and you say, "Me hold him now." You wrap you arms around him and pretend to "eat" him. "You yummy, Jacob! You my meatball."

Now I am hungry.

Love,
Mommy

Fuzzy Teeth

Dear Caden,

I will be completely honest. I was exhausted and ready for you to go to bed. You were extremely busy and into everything, and being tired didn't seem to help your mood either. We quickly read your nighttime books and I took you to use the potty. I diverted your attention away from brushing your teeth because I knew it would be another 10 minutes before you would be tucked into bed. Terrible, I know. I get you into bed and we say our prayers. As I lean down to give you a kiss you look up at me and say, "Momma, me have fuzzy teeth and dragon breath. Me no like it." Guilt trip worked, we are now back in the bathroom brushing your fuzzy teeth while you hum your ABC's.

Love,
Mommy

Yummy

Dear Caden,

I am sitting on the floor with you, reading a book. Suddenly you point to your wall that has stickers of stars and painted planets.
"Momma! Star gone!"
"Ahhh, ok."
"Momma! It gone. It fell off."
"I'm sorry. It's ok, you still have other stars."
"No momma! It gone!"
Seeing how much it is bothering you and how you won't let it go I ask, "Where did it go?"
"I ate it. It yummy."
". . . of course you did."

Love,
Mommy

I Miss You!

Dear Caden,

It has been a long day, after all it is a Monday. I go to pick you up from school and you run to me with arms open and a wide grin on your face, "Momma! You back! I miss you!"

Day. Made.

Love,
Mommy

2-8-9

Dear Caden,

Ever since you have been a little over 1 yrs old, you have been fascinated with the numbers "2, 8, 9." You will be playing and all of a sudden you will holler out, "TWO, EIGHT, NINE!" We quickly say, "No, silly! It's 7, 8, 9." You would grin at us and that would be that. Now that you are older, you can count to 20 unassisted, yet you still like to randomly yell out, "TWO, EIGHT, NINE!" Lately if you are frustrated with something you will say, "I will 2, 8, 9 you/it!" And begin making shooting sounds. We keep gently reminding you that you are not allowed to "2, 8, 9" people or animals. I pray that you aren't going to create a new police code when you are older. "Ah, I need backup, we have a 2-8-9 situation here."

Love,
Mommy

Starbucks

Dear Caden,

Sometimes all we need is a "Cup a Lip" (cup of whip) from Starbucks and all is right in the world once again.

Love,
Mommy

Daddy's Love

Dear Caden,

Daddy would move the world for you.

Love,
Mommy

New Year Pictures

Dear Caden,

Today is the first day of 2014 therefore, I had the bright idea of trying to get a picture of you and your brother to celebrate this glorious event. Let me just say it went much differently in my head.

Me: Caden, let's go get Jacob dressed so we can go outside and take a picture.
You: Nevermind, Mommy. (you've been on a nevermind kick lately, usually when you don't want to do something or did something you weren't supposed to)
Me: Well, I am going to get Jacob and be right back. Try not to destroy the house. (tall order, I understand)
You: Oooootay.

I go into Jacob's room, change his clothes into something cute. He promptly throws up and it goes into every neck crevice, including his ears. I change his clothes again, this time into something less cute to ward off the puke gods. I hear a loud crash and an "Ohhh no!". This is my signal that you have probably destroyed the house, or at least part of it.

Me: Caden! What happened?! (I am frantically trying to discern what caused the loud crash, no such luck)
You: Nevermind.
Me: What made that noise? Are you ok?
You: I need go pee pee. (nice work of dodging the question)

We make it to the bathroom, Jacob of course refuses to be put down and must have a front row seat while I try to wrestle your pants down because 1. You decided your arms didn't work and you were "too tired" and "need help" while pulling down your underwear and 2. You were a crocodile and crocodiles are "fast" and "never sleep and eat cookies". (of course they do)

Me: Caden, if you are a crocodile and if they are fast, then why can't you pull down your underwear?
You: Nevermind.

I finally get you on the potty only to see that Jacob (whom finally agreed to sit on the floor as long as at least my toe was touching him) had dumped the trash and was trying to eat something...still not sure what it was.

You: I DONE!!!! I DONE!!!
Me: Ok, grab the toilet paper and wipe. You know how to do it.
You: WAIT!!! I NEED GO POO POO!
Me: Ok Caden, please don't yell. I can hear you, I am only 2 feet from you.

You then insist on giving me a play-by-play of what was going on. I will spare you the details, but let's just say it was a literal play-by-play complete with sound effects.

You: I DONE! I DONE!
Me: Ok, Caden, you know what to do
You: I won't be having this, too much money. (You are now eyeing the toilet paper. This is obviously what must have been gleaned when you try to have a fiscal conversation with a 3 year old about wasting whole rolls of toilet paper)

I successfully manage to convince you to clean your bottom and get you and Jacob out of the bathroom. I find a semi-cute outfit to change Jacob into and hurriedly get you and him outside. You know, before the puke gods saw fit to mess with my plans.

Me: Caden, please stand over here. I want to take a cute picture of you and you brother.
You: Ugggggghhhhh! (biggest sigh EVER) I want to bake cookies.
Me: Ok! After quiet time, if you are good, I will bake cookies with you (I see this as an opportunity and I try and take it)
You: Ooootay. Momma! Airplane! Momma! I go stand over here! (You quickly dart to the other side of the yard with your arms spread out like an airplane)
Me: Caden, I need you over here so we can take a picture, please come back
You: Rawr! I eat you! *chomp* (you are now a blue dinosaur who is pretending to eat me)
Me: Ok blue dinosaur, stand here for me. (I am able to move you into position. You immediately sit down and begin digging holes in the ground with your finger)

I see Jacob licking the porch and eating what looks to be a piece of beef jerky, but seems more likely to be a dried, dead worm. Delicious. After grabbing what is left of the worm (?) and making sure there is none left your brother's mouth I turn, just in time to see you step into your swimming pool. Of course there had to be water in it (Didn't I empty that out months ago?!).

Me: Really Caden?!
You: Nevermind

We all hustle inside, I lay Jacob on his play mat so that I can get you changed into dry clothes. He immediately scoots off of it and goes towards the Christmas tree where all the plastic (albeit shiny and delicious looking) ornaments are hanging. However, he decides the supposedly hidden electrical cord is much more tasty. I am able to pry it from his chubby little hands amidst all his protests and place him on his play mat again, this time much further from the tree. I retreat with you into the laundry room.

Me: Caden, what shirt do you want to wear?
You: I blue dinosaur, RAWR!!! I no wear clothes. ( I briefly consider this option, however it is cold today)

I peek to the living room in time to see Jacob making puke angels with a huge puddle of his vomit. Apparently the puke gods got wind of the situation and decided to bless us again. On second thought Caden, it's not that cold outside. You happily begin prancing around the house naked.

 I decide the need for a New Year's picture will have to wait. There are at least 16 hours left of this day, yes? Let's bake those cookies you mentioned.

Love,
Mommy