Wet Sneeze

Dear Caden,

You are sitting quietly when suddenly you sneeze really loudly. For the next several minutes afterwards you keep asking, "Momma! Where'd it go?" Over and over and over again. I start naming things trying to figure out what you were looking for, but to no avail. I lean over to get up and stick my hand in something gooey and disgusting. I lift it up and I see a wad of snot that you had apparently sneezed out. You smile and say, "There it is!" Guess I found what you were looking for. Nasty.

Love,
Mommy

First Date

Dear Caden,

Have fun on your first date with Baby Kate. To win her heart, treat her to an all you can eat buffet of goldfish and apple juice. Promise me that you will bring her home by 8 pm sharp (and that really means 7:30 pm).

Love,
Mommy

Ball of Yarn

Dear Caden,

You are a very busy little guy, constantly touching and getting into things. However, sometimes the simplest things are the most entertaining. For example : a ball of yarn that you insisted on playing with. This kept you entertained for quite some time as you continued to unroll it all over Lolli and Pop's house. Move over ipad, we're going back to basics.

Love,
Mommy

Thunder Down Under

Dear Caden,

Your baby brother, Jacob, has the toots of a grown man. The other night after he passed gas, you hollered out, "Momma! Jesus' drums!" That is what you say when it thunders. . . apparently Jacob can make it thunder down under.

Love,
Mommy

I Hold!

Dear Caden,

We are laying down on the bed, you stare at me with your big brown eyes and I instantly melt. We are winding down getting ready for bed and you are chattering away telling me all about your day. You point to my eyes, nearly poking them in the process and say, "Momma's eyes bluuuuuuue!"
I tell you that, yes, my eyes are blue.
"Momma! Caden's eyes brooooooown!" Yes, sweet Caden, your eyes are brown.
"Momma! Caden hold your eyes!" No, sweet Caden, you cannot hold Mommy's eyes.
"Momma! Eyelashes!" Yes, sweet Caden, those are my eyelashes.
"Momma! Eyelashes off! Caden hold eyelashes!" No, sweet Caden, Mommy's eyelashes don't come off and you can't hold them.
"Pleeeeease Momma!" No baby, they don't come off.
"PLEEEEEASE!!!"
Your fingers suddenly dart out, grab and pull out one of my lashes. OUCH! Caden! That hurts! You don't pull eyelashes out!
"Oooootay.", you sigh. You stare at me quietly and begin patting my back in sympathy.
"Momma! I hold eyebrows!"
I think Mommy is done playing this game before you find something else to hold.

Love,
Mommy

My Iron Chef

Dear Caden,

Every great chef has to start somewhere. Today it is Mommy's kitchen, tomorrow will be Kitchen Stadium. You are my Iron Chef.

Love,
Mommy

Dinnertime Distress

Dear Jacob,

It happens Every. Single. Night. I will be elbow deep in dinner preparations with the stove top sizzling, the cabinet strewn with ingredients, my apron covered in food and you start wailing at the top of your lungs. Do I run to you or do I try and finish cooking and see if you will soothe yourself? The oven timer goes off and your wail hits an octave that makes me truly wonder how it is produced from such a tiny body. My mind wonders, did you squirm into the corner of the crib again and have your leg half hanging out like last night? Food or baby, baby or food? You haven't taken a breath since the last wail . . . I am positive you are wrapped up in your blankets in a dangerous way by the sound of your cries. I quickly dust off, rinse my hands, pull out the food and run up the stairs.I am 3 stairs from the top and you stop crying. I decide to check on you anyway: You are there, middle of the crib, blankets still neatly wrapped around you. Then you smile the biggest smile, Seriously?! It's a good thing you are so stinking cute.

Love,
Mommy

Christmas in July

Dear Caden,

Every night we read books before bedtime. Lately you have been begging us to read Charlie Brown's Christmas. We have read it to you every night for the past two weeks. Last night you asked me, "Where Titmas tree go? Titmas tree go night night?' I am thinking we may need to pull out some stuff and have a mini Christmas in July. I can handle that.

Love,
Mommy

Jesus' drums LOUD!

Dear Caden,

Last night the rains definitely came down around us. The skies were lit up with lightening and the thunder shook our house. At one point lightening hit the middle of our street and the boom that followed was incredible. I quickly went to check on you to make sure that you were ok, and of course, you were. You sat up in your bed and said, "Momma! Jesus' drums LOUD! Shhhh! Jacob's sleeping!" Mmmmmm . . . wonder where you've heard that before? Perhaps we ask you to pipe it down because Jacob's sleeping a little too much. Thank you for thinking of Jacob Caden, but something tells me that Jesus will be playing His drums for quite a while.

Love,
Mommy

Kisses

Dear Caden,

"Ewww! Yuck!" is what you squeal as I give you kisses on your cheek. You begin to frantically try and wipe off all of my kisses. I just pray that you remember this and think the same come Kindergarten when that cute little girl gives you a wink. That's right Caden, ALL of girls kisses are gross until you are at least 30. Or until you have graduated college and have a really good job and move out of Mommy's house. Even then, Mommy will need to inspect those kisses. . . just in case.

Love,
Mommy

Stray Cheerio

Dear Caden,

When you see Mommy coming in the door with a crazed look on her face from her 3 hour long supposedly 'fast' shopping trip and her arms are filled at maximum capacity with bags, this is not the time to insist that she also hold 'RIGHT NOW' the stray cheerio that you found on the floor.

Love,
Mommy

Diaper Tear!

Dear Caden,

Jacob is sleeping peacefully in his bouncy seat when he lets out a sound that only comes from grown men. You quickly run up to me with a worried look on your face and excitedly tell me that, "Yacob diaper tear! Oh no! Ewwww!" Suddenly Jacob does it again and you bust out laughing, "Ewwww!  Mommy, Yacob poo poo! Yacob diaper tear!" I get up to change your brother only to see the diaper did not contain it all. . .little did you know Caden, how true your statement was.

Love,
Mommy

Growing

Dear Caden,

I've finally figured it out! After much trial and error, I got it! This piece of information is something that will save your future wife a massive headache - the quickest way to get your child to grow is to buy them something new. You wore a size 4 shoe for FOREVER, so I bought you a new pair. You wore them once. ONCE. I then bought you a size 5.5 and you wore them for about 3 months. Now you are a size 6.5, tomorrow you will be a size 13, I am sure of it. Don't even get me started about clothes. . . As much as I hated hand me downs growing up, I am starting to understand.

Love,
Mommy

Mustard

Dear Caden,

You love to dip your food into pretty much anything and it doesn't matter if it is meant to be dipped or not. I will open the refrigerator and let you examine your dipping options: ketchup, ranch, bbq sauce, ect. You will hem and haw, touch one and put it back, taking your sweet time deciding what your dinner should be coated in. Tonight you decided your banana needed a healthy glow of ranch dressing, but not before you informed me that the mustard was, "Ewww yuck! That's Yacob's poo poo!" And I thought only nurses compared bodily fluids to food. . .

Love,
Mommy

Ice Cream Truck

Dear Caden,

It begins softly and increasingly gets more annoying, similar to a fly buzzing around your face. The warbled sounds of It's a small world pour out of the rusty speakers of the Ice Cream Truck. Suddenly it comes into focus, creeping down our street. I am not sure what the lure of the ice cream truck is. Is it the rusty van with a deep freezer big enough to cart dead bodies in, or the awkward menu printed on the side of the van that is half faded and half peeled off? Perhaps it is the creepy man who hasn't showered in a month handing out Ninja Turtle ice cream treats with choking hazard eyes? Whatever it is, I loathe it; yet it can be 50 miles away and the moment you hear him your eyes light up. You have yet to receive one of the overpriced, half melted treats and I hope to keep it that way. Perhaps I can tell you the story that my friend in school grew up hearing. Her mother told her that it was the warning siren letting everyone know that the lion escaped from the zoo. With my luck you would want to go hunting for the lion.

Love,
Mommy

Regular Down!

Dear Caden,

You love being dumped upside down and swung in every direction imaginable. You will beg Daddy to pick you up until he tosses you around, giggling until you have the hiccups. The other day you were up in the air and screamed, "Down, I want down!", Daddy therefore turned you upside down. You laughingly squeal, "No! Regular down!" Regular down, huh? Quite impressive that you know that word and used it correctly.

Love,
Mommy

Breathing Treatment

Dear Caden,

I just finished feeding Baby Jacob and begin to lay out everything in order to pump out what is left. I come back and find you holding one of the breast shields up to your face, breathing in and out deeply and slowly. I have to hand it to you, it does look like your little mask from your breathing treatment this past winter. You are one smart cookie.

Love,
Mommy