Mr. Sandman, Bring Me A Dream

***This is a repost from Caden's Caring Pages which were written while we were waiting for, and after Caden's Cranial Vault Reconstructive surgery***


Having Caden home from the hospital is absolutely amazing! However, when the surgeons warned us that Caden might revert to newborn mannerisms for a few weeks, they weren't kidding. Last night Caden woke up over 6 times, leaving very tired parents and a grumpy little man. Caden is also refusing to eat anything that has chunks in it. Weird considering his favorite meal was a grilled cheese sandwich. So now we are restocking on Gerber 3 foods, but whatever I can get him to eat! Taking care of him has been really stressful. I am terrified that he is going to hit his head on something, he is still slightly wobbly with his walking, but is getting better. The surgeons told us that it would take at least 2 weeks for him to get to 80%, considering that he isn't supposed to be walking this quickly again- I will take wobbly any day. He did bump his head and when he turned around he had blood pouring all down his face and all over his clothes. Terrifying. Thank goodness I had gauze and some silk tape and was able to stop the bleeding. I pray this recovery phase goes by quickly and Caden will continue to become stronger. I am ready for this journey to be over. I am so proud of Caden, he is my hero. The pain and suffering that he is going through, I can't imagine. He brings a smile to our faces and his giggles are infectious. I can't wait to see what God has in store for him!

Home Sweet Home

***This is a repost from Caden's Caring Pages which were written while we were waiting for, and after Caden's Cranial Vault Reconstructive surgery***

There are no words that can describe the comfort of sleeping in your own home, in your own bed. Knowing that your family is home, safe and sound, under the same roof. We were discharged yesterday evening and poor Caden could barely keep his eyes open. No one sleeps well in a hospital. I can't believe we are home before Christmas Eve. Caden is my hero. 

Today is Christmas Eve! Caden slept ALL NIGHT long! They warned us that post surgery that Caden might revert to the sleeping habits of a newborn. Not something we were looking forward to for sure! Caden was ready and raring to go this morning! He refused his morning pain medication and just wanted breakfast. And man, did he eat! I was curious where all the food went. I know that right after his surgery he didn't really want to eat much because he was intubated during his surgery and his throat was really sore. He is making up for the lack of eating in the hospital, that is for sure! Walking around is a like a new experience for Caden. He is having to relearn how to walk again because his new head shape throws off his balance. I never realized how narrow Caden's head was until now. His new head shape is very round and quite a bit larger than before. The surgeons said that they tried to over-correct a little bit so that hopefully in the future we won't have to have additional surgeries. Whatever it takes to keep my Caden safe and healthy.

My parents and Cayce's mother came over and we opened a few gifts. Caden was more interested in the wrapping paper and bows than anything. :) This year Christmas has a different meaning for us, this year Caden is my Christmas miracle. Thank you everyone for caring for us, for praying for us as we continue this journey. We know that the hardest part is over, and wow- I wish to never have to go through this again. We still have to heal, and I pray that his recovery goes smoothly. So far he screams anytime someone goes near his head, which I don't blame him. Over time I know that the pain will lessen and he will get better. I'm thankful that we did this while he was young because I know he won't remember this. I pray he won't remember this. May you all enjoy your Christmas holidays and spend time with your family. Be thankful for what you have and remember how blessed we all really are.

We are going HOME!!!

***This is a repost from Caden's Caring Pages which were written while we were waiting for, and after Caden's Cranial Vault Reconstructive surgery***

Terry RN

Dec 23 (Friday): We are in the step down unit 10 Tower (neurology). We were transferred here yesterday. Our nurses here have been beyond amazing! One of the night nurses kept playing with Caden. It was 3am and Caden was wide awake and Terry, the nurse, asked Caden, "Alright big man, it's 3 am, are you tired yet?" Caden promptly went, "Nah uh." It was so funny. Anything Terry would ask him, Caden would say "Nah uh." I knew that my baby was back! I love my Caden so much! We had to tape the telemetry leads to Caden's chest because he keeps pulling them off and playing with them. Dr. Aoli removed the second JP drain, one less line connected to Caden, which is good. I forgot to mention that while we were in the PICU, Caden was playing with one of his JP drains and figured out how to open it. He poured the contents all over him and I, fun. Did I mention that Caden has had 21 IVs? TWENTY ONE. Aunt Sam and I have been keeping count. Caden keeps pulling them out or they keep blowing. I don't think I can handle seeing my son being poked one more time. The nurses are saying they literally have no where else to place an IV because they have used all available sites. My poor baby. Anyway, Caden hasn't had a fever in several hours so Dr. Bollo was saying that we would be able to go home- TODAY! What an answer to prayer! We have everything packed and are ready to go!

On The Road To Recovery!

***This is a repost from Caden's Caring Pages which were written while we were waiting for, and after Caden's Cranial Vault Reconstructive surgery***


The day of surgery has come and gone and we are officially on the road to recovery! Thank you Jesus for keeping your hands on my baby! I know I haven't updated in a few days, the PICU didn't really allow for much room so I have had to wait until now. Let's go back a few days and start from the beginning:

Dec 20th (Tuesday): Today is the day of surgery! After many days of counting down and anxiously waiting, the day has come! Poor little Caden wasn't able to eat after midnight, but was able to have some apple juice at 0730 when he woke up. We packed up the car, and headed to TCH since we had to be there at 0900. Caden's surgery was scheduled for 1100...which as you can probably guess didn't happen at that time. Medicine is notorious for being behind. However, I would rather the surgeons be late because they were taking their time to do something correctly for another child than just doing surgeries for the almighty dollar. Caden did exceptionally well while we were waiting for his surgery, especially considering that he had nothing in his tummy and he was a hungry little bug :) We had ministers from our church: Bro. Charles Johnson and Bro. Walea, along with my family say prayers over Caden, the surgeons, nurses and all who would have contact or care for Caden, that they would have the wisdom and guidance of God while they took care of him. My parents, Cayce's mother, and Aunt Sam came and waited the day out with us- which was more than appreciated since Cayce and I were stretched tighter than a rubber band. Nika, Cayce's sister really wanted to come, but she was sick and didn't want to get anyone else sick, but we felt her there by heart. My friend from UT also came by to say hi, Vianca, it was wonderful to see her and get support from her as well. Surgery finally began at 2pm for him. The hours waiting for the surgery to begin were torture because I could see my Caden flirting with everyone and playing around just knowing that so soon he would be in so much pain and that his life would be forever changed. They called Cayce and I back to the holding area where we changed Caden into a little hospital outfit (which kept falling off of him because it was massively huge on him). We played with him for about 45 min while they were getting the OR ready for him and we finished signing all the consent forms. Those themselves can give you a heart attack hearing all the things that might possibly go wrong- even if it is a 0.00001% chance. *sigh* 

Caden decided that he wanted to ride in one of those plastic cars that red with a yellow top, so we pushed him around the pod for 45 minutes until they took him to the OR. He was adorable, he had his little feet hanging out of the windows and was helping us "steer" the car, usually in the wrong direction. I think I know what someone might get for Christmas if I can find a good deal on Craigs list!

Daddy and Caden before surgery

Then my heart skipped a beat as they called out Caden's name. I prayed that it was another Caden, but who was I kidding. I knew his time had come. I held on to him so tightly and I couldn't help it, but tears were escaping. I wanted to be strong for him because I wanted him to know that all was well, that he was in good hands. I kissed him so many times and kept telling him that "Mommy and Daddy love you, and we are right here, we aren't going anywhere!" The next thing I did was the hardest thing that I have ever had to do, and that was to hand over my perfectly healthy and beautiful son to a stranger and tell him that he better take the best care of my baby or else. I wasn't sure what the 'or else' would end up being, but Lord knows I would make sure it wouldn't be pretty. Watching him take my son through those double doors broke my heart, at that moment I literally couldn't breath. I watched through the windows until they turned the corner and I could no longer see my happy thought. Worst moment of my life ever. Was I making the right decisions? Are we really, beyond a shadow of a doubt completely positive that he needed this surgery? I knew I had seen his CT scans and it showed that there was no way that Caden would have a normal life without this, that yes he needed it, but...this is my baby, my happy thought, my greatest achievement, my true love that makes me laugh and smile. if anything happened to him devastation wouldn't even being to cover how I would feel. But I knew that we literally had hundreds of people praying for Caden and I knew that it was going to be ok. That I needed to let go and let God.

Surgery lasted for about 4 hours or so. Longest 4 hrs I think I have ever twiddled my thumbs through, except for those random nursing school lectures. :) But we made it! We finally got to go back to PACU (post anesthesia care unit) about 7pm to see him. 

The moment my heart stood still

My heart felt like it literally stopped for a few seconds. I cried and leaned over and told him how sorry I was for all of this to have happened to him. His face was swollen, he still had blood on parts of his face and his ears. His mouth was so dry and his lips were cracked and bleeding. His head was bandaged and he had two JP (Jackson Pratt) drains, one behind each ear. He was still really groggy from the anesthesia so he didn't open his eyes. He would wiggle his toes and fingers when he heard us talking to him. I wanted to hold him so bad, but because he was recovering and had drains and telemetry monitors on him I figured that the PACU nurse would feel better if we let Caden just stayed laying down. We stayed in the PACU unit for about 1h 45 min until we were transferred to the PICU (pediatric intensive care unit) We get an amazing nurse named Janus who took excellent care of Caden. Kept his pain management under control (which is super amazing bc nurses sometimes forget the little ones unless they are out and out crying). Great job Janus, don't worry- we are keeping a list of the RNs that are doing amazing jobs.

My precious baby, My Caden

Dec 21 (Wednesday): This morning we had a surprise! Rhonda Wolfe, a friend from church and a nurse manager for the Pulmonary and Endocrine units at TCH, brought me some REAL coffee and my husband and I some donuts. It was super kind of her! Needless to say we are still in the PICU. Caden has been having lot of pain during the night and is taking morphine and loratab. Hey, if someone cut on my skull, I think I would be hurting too! He was also febrile running temps of 101.8 throughout the day and evening. This is extremely common after major surgery. The doctors ordered clindamycin to help with that. Both daddy and I are allergic to Penicillin. He seems to be doing well with that. We were hoping today to go to a step down unit (one step closer to home) but because he kept running such high fevers and was tachycardic (his heart was beating really fast which is common if you have a fever or are in pain) the doctors decided to keep him an extra night in the PICU. We were so disappointed because the PICU is so noisy with people coming in and out and there is not privacy, we had to share a room and just is plain uncomfortable because there isn't a lot of room. Grammy Lisa and Aunt Sam came and stayed the day with us again...They are true blessings helping us get through this nightmare.

Caden's incision

Caden's left eye is swollen

Dec 22: Still in PICU, but we are getting moved to a step down unit! Thank you Jesus! Cheri came to see Caden and brought him a few gifts too, some are books and I can't wait to read them to him! Aunt Sam came to see us again and stayed all day with us again bringing us goodies to eat and Christmas decorations to hang up in Caden's new step down room. We FINALLY made it to the West Tower 10th floor. The room is huge! The first thing I did was take a shower- I will never take those for granted again! It felt like I was able to wash all the grime and stress and pain off from the past several months. I literally felt like a new person when I stepped out. They took Caden's dressing off of his head, needless to say he wasn't too fond of that AT ALL. His incision looks beautiful, as far as incisions can go. The swelling is very minimal and I never really realized wow elongated and narrow his head was until now. His head is so much more round and he looks just flat out beautiful and handsome. Dr. Buchanan (plastic surgeon) removed one of the JP drains and will removed the other one tomorrow. Dr. Bollo (neurosurgeon) says that Caden is right on track and looks fabulous and that we are still looking for a Christmas Eve/Day discharge. I am so excited- Caden will be the BEST Christmas gift I have ever received! This evening he has started babbling and playing peekaboo, which is the old Caden. He is off IV fluids because he can tolerate liquids, so all we are waiting on now is the other JP drain to be taken out, his fever to go- and stay- away, and for him to not need morphine medication (because it is IV). We need him just to need Tylenol 3 or regular Tylenol. I think we are well on our way. His left eye had swollen completely shut, but thankfully now he can kinda peek at us through it. His right eye seems to be completely normal-Thank you Jesus! A wonderful coworker , Kristyna Wright, brought my hubby and I a bag full of goodies and healthy snacks to get through this craziness- thank you sweet friend much appreciation!!

Dr. Bollo, Neurosurgeon

Dr. Buchanon, Plastic Surgeon

 

Mommy loving on Caden

Aunt Sam keeping vigil

Tomorrow is Almost Here

***This is a repost from Caden's Caring Pages which were written while we were waiting for, and after Caden's Cranial Vault Reconstructive surgery***

Last week we met with Dr. Buchanan who is the plastic surgeon that will be taking care of Caden. He is absolutely amazing! He let me, a terrified mommy, ask a million questions and didn't rush me. That speaks volumes. He even played with Caden while we were discussing his surgery, that also showed me that he cares. I know Caden will be in good hands. Dr. Buchanan mentioned that Caden might need an additional surgery later in life to fix the 'bossing' (that is the slight bulges in his forehead). Daddy and I both agree that Caden looks perfectly fine the way he is and we think that we might not opt to do that surgery since it isn't necessary like the current surgery. Dr. Buchanan also mentioned that because he will just be repairing the back of Caden's head to allow for expansion, that the surgery will be significantly shorter than previously mentioned. The surgery is now supposed to only be 2-3 hrs long (instead of the dreaded 8 hrs) AND because the focus of the surgery is on the back of Caden's head, Dr. Buchanan thinks that Caden's eyes will swell, but hopefully not swell completely shut! That is a huge relief for me as that is something that I am seriously dreading! Thank you Jesus for small blessings!

I recently received a care package from CranioCareBears.org which is a nonprofit organization who's goal is to spread awareness of craniosynostosis and to bring love and comfort to those families that are facing surgery. Inside the box there was a prayer chain that we can place on Caden's crib in the hospital and also cards of encouragement from other parents that have been through this tough time. This box was such a blessing, knowing that we are not alone and that there are many people we don't even know that are praying for us.

I think the most difficult part of this whole ordeal is that I see Caden, an absolutely perfect, healthy and fun loving boy- and I have to hand him over to someone to do surgery on him. It isn't like there was an accident where I can actually visually see the problem that needs to be fixed, Caden's problem is hidden from sight and technically we are doing the surgery based on odds. Odds that in the future that he might become handicapped, might have seizures, become visually or hearing impaired. I'm not one to gamble and since I'm not the one rolling the dice of life, I feel it is my duty as a mother to make sure that Caden stays safe and healthy. I am doing this surgery to keep Caden the way he is, I don't want Caden to change. I want to continue to watch him make his funny faces and listen to his giggles.

So off we go tomorrow, the day my heart will stand still until I can lay eyes on my son and see that he made it through and is doing well. I have several family members coming to the hospital with us to wait out the surgery so that we won't be alone. I know that The Great Physician and His angels will be in the OR with Caden. I know that there are hundreds of people praying for Caden and that he will come out like a champ. I just wish someone so small and innocent, didn't have to go through something so awful. We just have to make up a good story for him to tell others when he grows up on how he got his scar...wrestling an alligator, surfing with sharks...who knows! :) So tonight, kiss your little ones and hug them extra tight for us and please remember us in your prayers. Caden's surgery is at 11:30am and we have to be there at 09:30am. I will do my best to update the carepage tomorrow to let everyone know how he did, and will post pics of my main man. Thank you for following us on this journey and for the prayers and calls and well wishes. We are almost there, I can see the other side!

I Wish You Enough

***This is a repost from Caden's Caring Pages which were written while we were waiting for, and after Caden's Cranial Vault Reconstructive surgery***

As the day of Caden's surgery creeps closer I have been losing more sleep and more weight. Me being a nurse should know better. If mom isn't healthy and taking care of herself, then what happens to her family? Thankfully, I am beyond blessed to have an amazing husband that has graciously picked up my slack.

As many of you know, I work at MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston. I am on the Stem Cell Transplant unit and everyday I work I do my daily duties and go home. That's the big thing: I get to go home. I get to love on my son and husband. I get to breathe the semi fresh air of Houston. I get to sit at my dinner table and eat food that God has blessed us with. I get to enjoy time with my friends. My patients are in the hospital for a MINIMUM of 30 days, that is barring no complications. Which, as you can guess is not often. I have been dreading this upcoming stay at Texas Children's Hospital. Nurses make the WORST patients and children of nurses, God help them. Caden will be in the hospital for 5 days. That is it. Then we can walk out and watch him grow into the amazing young man that God intends him to be. Besides the immediate recovery phase, we don't have to watch him hurt. Life must be put into perspective. I am truly blessed.

I recently spoke with my SIL, Shelena. She reminded me that when life gets hard, you always have hope. Hope, such a small word, but a word that has such power and strength. A word that is getting me through this nightmare that I am facing. When we have nothing, we always still have hope.
During this Christmas season, I hope you hold your family a little bit closer. I hope you enjoy little children's eyes as they light up with happiness and wonder when they look under the Christmas tree. I hope you sing that Christmas song in the shower, not paying any mind to who may be listening. I wish you would spend a little bit of time thinking of how blessed you are. I wish that you will slow down and not mind the hustle and bustle of commercialism, but remember what the season is about. I wish you health and happiness and blessings. I wish you enough.

Thanksgiving and Randomness :)

***This is a repost from Caden's Caring Pages which were written while we were waiting for, and after Caden's Cranial Vault Reconstructive surgery***

I would like to say a big thank you to all of you who take the time out of your day to come to this page and look at what we have to say regarding Caden's care. I know that I speak to many of you individually and tell you what is going on, but to also come online afterwards, really means a lot. It is a different level of caring. I appreciate it more than you can imagine.

There have been a few friends that have really stood up and helped us more than we deserve. To respect their privacy I will not mention their names, but they have truly gone above and beyond with all they have done. Some have donated their time to come over and help with the house and Caden, while others have given monetary gifts. I know that not everyone can do a monetary donation to help us out, especially in this economy- and it is definitely not expected by any means. But those of you who have blessed us financially, Remember that God is watching over you and I believe He will rain down blessings on you for your unselfishness. The surgery is going to cost us around $6000.00 (after insurance *sigh*) and with the amounts that have been donated and currently raised, we are at : $1340.00... So we are getting there! We are still planning on holding a benefit dinner and bake sale after his surgery to help recoup some of the money. And those that are donating their time is just as much appreciated! I am excited about spending time with my friends during this crazy season, and I believe God placed them in our life during this specific time to get us through this trying time.

Today is Thanksgiving, the day that we stuff ourselves silly and then go and take a long and relaxing nap....unless you are a mommy. Then you don't get to nap, you start cleaning and resume chasing the little people in the house making sure they stay out of trouble. Seems like women drew the short end of the stick, but you know, I wouldn't have it any other way. I am completely in love with Mr. Caden. Everything he does makes me smile. And now that Christmas lights are being placed on houses, it makes our evening walks just that much more special. Watching Caden's eyes dance with excitement as we pass by house after house with blow up santas and snow men and colorful lights fill me with delight. Christmas is by far my favorite time of the year and I hope this excitement passes on to Caden. But since today is Thanksgiving, I must at least say what I am thankful for: I am thankful for the usual: a roof over my head, clothing that fits, cute shoes to wear and food in my belly. I am thankful for a husband that works hard on a daily basis to provide the above blessings and who loves me unconditionally. I am blessed that I got to marry best friend. I am thankful for a strong marriage that is centered completely around God. Without God we are nothing, and He is the cord that binds us together. I am beyond thankful of my precious bundle of joy that God entrusted us with this past Nov 2, 2010. Caden Thomas Harshman. It hasn't been easy this entire year with raising Caden, but with God's help and with Grammy Lisa, Aunt Sam and other family and friends we made it through! I am thankful for the beautiful new home that we were blessed with! I am thankful that my husband, whom I adore, is allowing me to work part time in order to allow me to spend more time with our beautiful son and to get time to feel better. I appreciate that more than he can imagine. I am thankful for all of the blessings that God has given my family, those that are evident and those that I have yet to see. I am truly thankful for my most prized accomplishment of all time: my precious son, Caden. Even though he has to have a major surgery that is going to last 8 hrs, which makes Mommy's heart want to stop, I am thankful that we are able to have this surgery with the best surgeons at the best children's hospital. God is watching out for us. I am thankful that the doctors listened to Mommy and Daddy when we kept telling them we were concerned because of how small Caden's soft spot was and how quickly it closed. Because of that we are having this major surgery, which tears at our heart strings, but it will allow Caden to have the chance at a full and healthy life. Without the surgery Caden has a 17-20% of becoming handicapped, 50% chance of becoming blind or have auditory issues, %100 chance of having an elongated, deformed head which can cause increased inter-cranial pressure which may later in life cause Caden to have seizures or other various issues. I am extremely thankful that God has provided all of the technology and education with the physicians to provide Caden with this surgery. Caden is such a bright and happy ray of sunshine in my life. He is by far, with his daddy, the best things that I have ever been given. I am a woman without worldly riches, and I suffer daily with chronic pain. But I am a woman that is blessed beyond measure. I serve an amazing God and I love my life! Happy Thanksgiving to all!

What Can We Expect?

***This is a repost from Caden's Caring Pages which were written while we were waiting for, and after Caden's Cranial Vault Reconstructive surgery***


Little man is getting oh so big! ‎"Uh Oh!" are Caden's words of choice these days...and yes, Caden, throwing Mommy's wallet and car keys in the cat's water bowl is "uh oh!" He has officially taken off and started walking! He was taking a few steps at a time before but now he is off like a rocket! He amazes me every day with all of the things that he is learning and doing. He makes me oh so very happy!
So plans have slightly been changed regarding the bake sale to help pay for Caden's surgery. Due to the time of season with the holidays around the corner, unfortunately I am unable to get a spot to hold a bake sale with any retail facility at this time. Salvation Army and Toys for Tots are filling the company's calendars at this point. But that is ok, Cayce and I have been talking and we decided we will still try and do the bake sale, but do it after his surgery instead. It might also help because we will have actual pictures of his head and scars and people will be able to believe that the surgery is real and not a scam. Thank you for those who have offered to help me with baking and manning the bake sale. As soon as we get an actual date I will let you know so we can get the ball rolling!
I have had many people ask me about Caden's surgery and what exactly is going to happen. We will find out for sure on Dec 14th when we have our appointment with the Plastic Surgeon. However, we already have been told what to expect and it isn't pretty. They will be cutting Caden in a zig zag pattern from ear to ear. The reason for the zig zag is so that Caden will not have a permanent part in his hair later on. Cayce's scar from this same surgery is straight from front to back and he has a very obvious scar, and hopefully this will be prevented. The surgery lasts about 8 hrs (which will be complete torture for Mommy and Daddy). The Neurosurgeon will be there to make sure that Caden's brain is protected and the Plastic Surgeon will be doing a CVR (cranial vault reconstruction) which will reshape Caden's head and also allow for it to grow using desolvable screws, plates and sutures. I have been speaking to several mommies of children that have had this surgery and they said that the worst part happens about 48-72 hrs after the surgery. Caden's eyes will swell shut from all the pressure that happened during the procedure and it will stay that way for a few days. They say that makes the babies very upset- which I can completely understand. The first day or so they will have Caden on Morphine to keep him comfortable and sedated so that immediately after the surgery he can heal as much as possible. The surgeons tell me that Caden will be well on his way to healing after just 2 weeks and should be nearly COMPLETELY healed in about 6 weeks. That just amazes me! I know that with God watching out for him that this surgery will be ok and that he will make it through like the champ that he is and he will heal beautifully! I got permission from one of the mommies to use a few of her pictures of her beautiful little girl to post so that you all can see what Caden's future holds. Be prepared, the pictures will pull at your heart strings...

One Day at A Time

***This is a repost from Caden's Caring Pages which were written while we were waiting for, and after Caden's Cranial Vault Reconstructive surgery***

I'm sitting on the couch watching Caden play around me. He is so smart and inquisitive. I love watching him- as he stares at things I can see the little wheels in his head working. I can't wait to see what he will become when he is older. Whatever he decides to do, I know that he will be absolutely amazing.

It still hurts me when I see him smile at me because I know he has no clue what is going on and the battle that I am fighting in my heart. I know that him being oblivious is good...we don't need another person freaking out! I just know that he trusts me with all that he is, and I want to make sure that I take the best care of him possible. I don't have a choice with this surgery. I would be a terrible mother if I didn't do it. How can I run the possible risk of my incredibly bright child becoming handicapped? I can't. I have to give him a fighting chance. He will never remember it; all he will know when he is older is from the stories we tell him and the pictures that he sees.

I get aggravated when people tell my husband and I not to worry. "Try not to think about it.", "You are overreacting", "It's not a big deal." All of the above is probably true and everything WILL be ok, BUT he is still my baby. I fought for 9 months to keep him inside of me. If you know my husband and I and the story of my pregnancy then you know I had a terrible pregnancy and Caden is a miracle child- literally. I know I am more overprotective than I should be, but if you went through what I did then you would understand. As December 20th gets closer I close my eyes and take slow deep breaths. When I dedicated Caden at church, I gave Caden back to God. I know that he is in God's hands and I need to leave him there. I do appreciate the love and encouragement that my friends and family have given us. It makes this difficult time easier to go through. Just don't tell me that this isn't a big deal, because it is, especially to me. I have been reading blogs of other parents who have been through this with their child and their feelings echo mine. Seeing pictures of their tiny baby with their eyes swollen shut and drains and tubes everywhere right after surgery pulls my heart strings. I know that we will be in the same position soon. But then I see the 'after' pictures and the child is happy and beautiful and you can barely tell they had such a traumatic surgery just 6 weeks prior. I know that we too will have some 'after' photos...one day at a time.

So for now I continue watching my son play and hand me cheerios that are soggy from his slobber. He makes me smile, and I know that it will be ok. We can get through this, one day at a time.

The Big Day is Scheduled

***This is a repost from Caden's Caring Pages which were written while we were waiting for, and after Caden's Cranial Vault Reconstructive surgery***

We've been having to wait for Caden's Neurosurgeon and his Plastic Surgeon to get together and discuss the plan of care for Caden. We finally have an appointment where we will speak with both of the surgeons to find out exactly what they are planning on doing and what we should expect. That is scheduled for December 14th.

Now that we have that appointment we have his actual surgery date scheduled for December 20th. From what I have been told, Caden will be in the PICU (Pediatric Intensive Care Unit) for 3 days after the surgery and then will be in a step down unit for about 2 days. That means we will be discharged on Christmas Day. A healthy Caden will be the best Christmas gift of all!

I have had several people ask why are we doing the surgery during Christmas. It's not because we want to, but it is the soonest that we could get the surgery scheduled. We are on the early cancellation list, so if there is an opening sooner we will try and take it. We want the surgery to be completed by the end of the year because 1) if we wait I am going to get an ulcer stressing about it- and yes, I am giving this to God, but Caden is still my baby and 2) we have already paid the crazy deductible and really don't want to have to repay it at the start of the new year.

I cannot express my gratitude for all of you who are praying for our family during this time and for those of you who have given monetary gifts to assist for paying with his surgery. It helps my heart to know that we are not alone during this trying time, that we have many friends and family that truly care. If there is any changes to Caden's appointments I will make sure to let you all know.

Recently Caden just had his FIRST birthday! Can you believe it? A year has come and gone and my little boy has gotten so big and has changed so much right before our eyes. He still will only walk a few steps and then say "nah, crawling is so much easier." His new game is dropping things and saying, "Uh oh!" and it never gets old...ever. I can't wait to see what this upcoming year has in store for us. I know that Caden will continue to grow into a happy and healthy, rambunctious little boy- at that is the way it is supposed to be.

Our Beautiful Family

Kisses from Grammy

Thumbs up! Yummy Birthday Cake!

Worn out Birthday Boy! What a Day!

Today is CT Day!

***This is a repost from Caden's Caring Pages which were written while we were waiting for, and after Caden's Cranial Vault Reconstructive surgery***

Today Caden had his CT scan. We had to be at TCH at 7 am...which was really early for everyone! Poor Caden wasn't able to eat after midnight, but Mommy woke him up early and gave him a sippy cup of water/juice so he wouldn't be super hungry.

We finally made it back to the CT room and they swaddled Caden up and buckled him in the machine. He looked so tiny! They let Mommy and Daddy stay in the room with lead vests on to help distract him. He did so well that he didn't have to be sedated...which made Mommy SO happy! Mommy and Daddy were so proud of Caden, he was such a trooper and big boy!

As soon as we finished, Mommy set out Caden's cereal, milk and fruit for him to eat because she knew that he would be starving- but he refused to eat it. Instead, he ate 4 of Mommy's powered donuts, but Mommy didn't mind because he was way too cute with all the sugar around his mouth! (And he deserved those donuts after all he went through).

The CT report will be sent to Dr. Bollo and the plastic surgeon and from there we will come up with a game plan and the surgery will be scheduled.

Since today is Halloween we need to go visit the pumpkin patch and get Caden dressed up as a cute little monkey! Happy Halloween everyone!

What are these bumpy things Mommy?

The CUTEST little monkey

Trying to figure this pumpkin thing out...

Caring Pages for Caden's Cranio Surgery

Dear Caden,

When you were born, you had a soft spot the size of a tiny pea, which wasn't nearly large enough for a growing boy. You need a soft spot in order to allow your head space to grow, without a good soft spot you can have serious medical issues. Your daddy didn't have a soft spot when he was born and had to have a major surgery when he was 6 months old to fix this. Mommy, knowing this, persisted and got you to see a Neurosurgeon at Texas Children's Hospital. Unfortunately, this did show that you too would need to have a cranial vault reconstructive surgery in order to make sure that you brain could have space to grow. Aunt Sam went with me to see Dr. Bollo, the neurosurgeon, and she was there when I heard the news of you having to have the surgery. I felt like my world literally stopped. No one wants to hear that their little one has to have surgery, let alone a major surgery. I was terrified...the next few months for me were the hardest ones that I have ever experienced. All I can say is that God stayed true, and was a constant. We reached out to everyone that we knew that prayed, and you were on people's hearts and minds all over the country. We had you anointed and prayed for in church. I prayed so hard that God would just heal you and you wouldn't need the surgery, however, that is not what God decided. And so the surgery was scheduled for Dec 20, 2011.

Cranio Care Bears was an invaluable source of love and help to our family during this time. People sent care packages and prayer chains for you. People who didn't even know you were praying for you and loved you.

During this time I created a Caring Page for you and posted my feelings and people posted their messages. I am posting these on this blog, so that later when you are older, you can see how much you meant and still mean to everyone. We love sweet Caden, more than you can ever imagine.

Love,

Mommy

Messages for Caden from Care Pages

***This is a repost from Caden's Caring Pages which were written while we were waiting for, and after Caden's Cranial Vault Reconstructive surgery***


These are the messages that were left for Caden on his Care Pages:

Posted Feb 22, 2012 12:15am

by Cherri Hollingsworth

Thanks for the update, Jerusha!!! :) God IS good!! I'm so glad that y'all are all doing great! Congratulations on your new job, too! Hope to see you guys at the February Birthday Bash on the 29th (leap day!). Give Caden LOTS of hugs and kisses...you're going to blink, and he'll be grown! Take LOTS of pictures, too!!! :)
Love lots, Aunt Cherri :)

Posted Feb 21, 2012 11:04pm

by Nika Adkins

I am so glad everything is going so well & falling into place for your guys. God is SO good & you 3 deserve it. What a wonderful, beautiful family.

Posted Feb 21, 2012 11:11am

by Lisa Harshman

Caden,
Thank you, Mommy for taking this new job. I love spending more time with you!!!!

Posted Feb 20, 2012 11:15pm

by Alice Troppy

God is good and Caden is an amazing little boy. Alot of that has to do with two amazing parents. You all are so special!
Love you, Alice

Posted Feb 20, 2012 10:06pm

by Nora Freeman

I'm so happy for you and your family!! I know that elementary school is blessed to have you....there is such a great need for good school nurses who are kind and loving!

Posted Jan 8, 2012 5:26pm

by Sandra Williamson

So Glad he is on the RUN : )

Posted Jan 8, 2012 10:16am

by Nika Adkins

Amen! SO So glad Caden is doing so amazingly well. I knew he would prove quite resiliant. What a beautiful, strong little boy & family you have. God is so good! I love you three!

Posted Dec 27, 2011 10:11pm

by Lisa Harshman

Every time I come over I see Caden's progress. He is smiling more and playing more. It does my heart good to see him happy. He's amazing!

Posted Dec 27, 2011 9:18pm

by Shelena Brown

Stay strong:) I hope that you guys get some rest tonight:)We love you all!!!!

Posted Dec 27, 2011 9:36am

by Nora Freeman

Wow! I know that God has great things for Caden! Praying for him and you two :)

Posted Dec 27, 2011 9:07am

by Sandra Williamson

Hang in there !!! You are doing an Awesome job : )

Posted Dec 26, 2011 7:38pm

by Alice Troppy

Caden is a brave little boy. I pray for you & Cayce during his recovery period.

Love you,
Alice

Posted Dec 26, 2011 6:45am

by Laverne Barnes

Truly a Christmas miracle! I'm sure Caden's progress so far is a glimpse on his recovery, he is going to continue to surprise all of us with how fast he gets back on his feet!
Hugs and Continued Prayer

Posted Dec 25, 2011 1:07am

by Lisa Harshman

Caden being home and healthy is the best Christmas present ever.I'm so glad it went well. Better than expected. What a trooper.

Posted Dec 24, 2011 7:04pm

by Nora Freeman

That is amazing!! God is so good to His children :)

Posted Dec 24, 2011 7:01pm

by Nora Freeman

Praise God! Lots of love and have a wonderful Christmas!!

Posted Dec 24, 2011 5:44pm

by Teri Gehring

Wow! I'm am soooo thrilled that you guys got home so quickly! What a blessing. And the pic's of Caden look AMAZING. He seems to have come thru with flying colors! I'm sure you are much more comfortable in your own home....Caden too. We hope you guys are having the best Christmas ~ so far... Many, many more to come, I'm sure! Great weather for using that new fireplace of yours....snuggling with some hot chocolate and loved ones.....what could be better? ♥ : }

Posted Dec 24, 2011 4:57pm

by Jess Hood

So exciting! I'm so happy for you guys, and can't wait to cuddle the little guy! Merry Christmas!

Posted Dec 24, 2011 7:26am

by Laverne Barnes

It is such a wonderful answer to prayer all that God has brought your little family through. We take so much for granted and this is a wonderful reminder this Christmas of what is really important. Praying for a speedy recovery!
Hugs and Prayers~Laverne

Posted Dec 23, 2011 4:36pm

by Alice Troppy

It's great to hear how well Caden did with his surgery. He's an amazing little boy. I won't be able to come by for a while. I've had a bronchial infection for about a week now & it's not too much better. I don't want to be around Caden while I'm sick. It sounds like he's in wonderful hands though. Hopefully I can see all you guys soon!
Love ya, Alice

Posted Dec 23, 2011 11:38am

by Nika Adkins

I'm SO glad Caden is doing well! God is so good! I love you 3 SO much. Hang in there, you're doing great & will be home before you know it! You 3 haven't left my thoughts!

Posted Dec 23, 2011 11:14am

by Roy Brown

Hi Caden,
We love and miss you and are praying for your speedy recovery. Hurry home so the "fat man" can find you. Everyone at PaPa's house sends their love and prayers.
PaPa Brown

Posted Dec 23, 2011 10:15am

by Nora Freeman

I am so glad that Caden is doing better! Just know that I am still praying for him and your family! Lots of love!

Posted Dec 23, 2011 4:36am

by Cherri Hollingsworth

Praise God, praise God, praise God!!!!!! We've been praying every day, all day! I remind the kids every so often throughout the day to pray for Caden, drs., nurses, mommy&daddy, etc. I'm praying for a Christmas Eve discharge date! :) Went today to the urogynecologist for my results from all the urodynamics testings I've been doing (fun, fun!). Deciding what to do now with the results. :/ Please TRY and get some rest (both of you)! You need to be strong and healthy for Caden! :) Love to you ALL! Take care! Love, Aunt Cherri & family (P.S. Hope to see y'all over the holidays!)

Posted Dec 20, 2011 6:10am

by Laverne Barnes

Hugs and prayers going up to our Savior for you all. Wish I could be there but I know God is the provider of peace and comfort that goes way beyond what I could do. Love ya~Laverne

Posted Dec 19, 2011 9:03pm

by Gene Brown

God will take care of Caden. Please allow him take care of you. We are praying for you.

Posted Dec 19, 2011 7:36pm

by Nika Adkins

We love you guys so much. Focus on the positive. I know it will be a very difficult journey, but you will make it thru. During your wait, picture him months from now, running & playing. Perfect little Caden. We love you. Here for you in any way. Prayers & thoughts will continue to be lifted up. H ugs!!

Posted Dec 19, 2011 7:05pm

by Lisa Harshman

I'll be there tomorrow to help you thru this journey. I know Caden will be fine and luckily he won't remember it.God gave us this beautiful little boy and we will all get thru tomorrow together in faith. Love you all

Posted Dec 19, 2011 6:23pm

by Sandra Williamson

Hugs Prayers and Kisses From Kentucky : ) We Love You 3

Posted Dec 19, 2011 6:21pm

by Teri Gehring

Wow, Jerusha....I can not begin to imagine your anxiety. But I think that this Care Page has been a great blessing to you and your family, and will help give you guys strength and peace. What a blessing that the surgery is now only to take 2-3 hrs instead. I am sure that is some relief on your hearts. And it sounds like Caden has an excellent group of Doctors taking care of him. Can't wait to watch him push threw this on the other side, like a trooper! ♥

Posted Dec 19, 2011 5:11pm

by Nora Freeman

I will continue to pray for little Caden and for both you and Cayce! God will work everything out and take care of your little one! XXOOXX Nora

Posted Dec 19, 2011 4:36pm

by Marianne Moore

We will all be praying for the three of you!

Posted Dec 13, 2011 3:08pm

by Alexis Page

Hey J! I've been thinking about you a lot lately and praying for everything to go smoothly and quickly! Hang in there and try to not drive yourself too crazy with worry.
Romans 8:28- we know that God works ALL THINGS together for good for the ones who love God, who are called according to His purpose.

Love ya!!! Alexis
p.s. knowing our family, you know i had to do a food virtual gift! lol!

Posted Dec 7, 2011 5:40pm

by Midnight Hades

Finally signed up! Caden is a strong little boy, he will do well. And you take care of yourself. Do not hesitate to let Mark and I know if you need anything at all!

Posted Dec 4, 2011 7:34pm

by Sandra Williamson

I so AGREE !!!!! Hope is alot when you don't know what to hold on to : ) We Love You Three so Much !!

Posted Dec 4, 2011 3:22pm

by Lisa Harshman

Remember that Christmas is a time for miracles. God gave us his son to save us. He gave you Caden, I know deep in my soul that Caden will be healed, whether is is thru a miracle or thru the doctors skills (given to them from God). He is such a beautiful, happy little boy. I look forward to watching him grow.He is the littlest love of my life.God bless you all.

Posted Dec 4, 2011 2:46pm

by Laverne Barnes

Love you! When you doubt read your own words and remember. Praying for all involved in Caden's life. Hugs and Prayers~Wendell and Laverne

Posted Dec 3, 2011 10:32pm

by Nora Freeman

Wow! Nicely said! With strife, we become stronger and God will see you and your family through this :)Posted Dec 3, 2011 6:16pm

by Tammy St. Clair

Thinking of you and your family.

Posted Dec 3, 2011 6:15pm

by Nika Adkins

Beautifully spoken. You, Cayce & Caden are so amazing. God will carry you thru this trying time. I love you guys & pray for you often. I am here for you. Hope is important, and sometimes, Hope is all you need.

Posted Dec 3, 2011 5:46pm

by Jessica Remmen

Very well said!! I agree with so many of your statements. I pray for you on a nightly basis for strength and faith through this period in your lives. I am always here as a friend, coworker, fellow mother, and any other position you need me to fill.

Posted Nov 28, 2011 11:50pm

by dorothy swinke

That is beautiful best friend

Posted Nov 28, 2011 11:15pm

by Alice Troppy

Thank you so much for the updates. I think of you, Cayce & Caden everyday & my heart & prayers go out to you for all that you're going through and still face. I promise to get by there soon. I have to be at MDA on 12/6 for follow-up so maybe I can come by that day. Or if you're working that day I can catch you at the hospital.
Hugs & Kisses,
Alice

Posted Nov 26, 2011 10:06pm

by Laverne Barnes

Please remember when life seems overwhelming and you feel all alone, you have friends and family lifting you up to our Lord. Caden is such a precious little man and I am looking forward to watching him grow up and impress us all with the way God uses him. It is hard to believe he is already 1! I love having time with your family in our house and spending time with you. I will need another date night with Caden real soon, it's been too long!!
Hugs and Prayers, Laverne and Wendell Barnes

Posted Nov 25, 2011 3:38pm

by Sandra Williamson

So Glad for your posts. And You are So Blessed : ) Give Hugs to Little Turkey and Big Turkey : ) Love Ya, Dad and Mom Williamson

Posted Nov 25, 2011 11:44am

by Lisa Harshman

I consider all 3 of you blessings in my life. I am so happy to spend time with you. Caden makes me smile. Thanks for taking the time to create this care page. It is a wonderful way to keep up with Caden and his treatment. I know in the next few weeks you'll be busy, but it's nice to visit this page and keep current.

Posted Nov 25, 2011 10:24am

by Nika Adkins

Amen my friend! I love you so much & I'll be here for you anytime! God is good, and we are Blessed. :)

Posted Nov 16, 2011 11:25pm

by Alice Troppy

Jerusha, I'm glad you wrote about the actual procedure related to the surgery. It helps me understand how they will go about it and the outcome. And the pictures are adorable. Caden is a good & mild tempered little boy. He will go through this alot better than you & Dad. So please take care of yourself too. And, like I said, if you & Cayce just need to get out of the house for a few hours, you count on me to stay, play & adore Caden. Hugs kisses & gobs of prayers for your little family.
Love you, Alice

Posted Nov 15, 2011 11:15pm

by jana paxton

Jerusha, ive been there so many times! It is a big deal and it hurts terribly but... you will get through it no matter how hard it is in the mean time. God will never leave or forsake you, even if it feels like it sometimes. Take lots of pictures, there will be a day when you want to look back and remeber where you were and what you went through. Love you girl...chin up! One day atta time..

Posted Nov 11, 2011 1:40pm

by Sandra Williamson

Don't let anyone tell you how you should or shouldn'tt be feeling. You are Great Parents who serve a Greater God. And We Love You Three : )

Posted Nov 11, 2011 11:05am

by Lisa Harshman

Jerusha,
I'm so sorry you have to go thru such an upsetting ordeal. I think people don't know what to say and they are trying to reassure you. I remember the feelings of helplessness and fear. This is a test of our faith. God will lead us thru this journey if only we let him. Our faith is strong and your love for your husband and beautiful son is strong. I'm here for you whatever you need. You don't have to go thru this alone. I love you. Call anytime!
Love,
Mom

Posted Nov 10, 2011 11:14pm

by Jess Hood

It is a big deal! Even if it was just a shot or stitches, or a bee sting, if your baby hurts, it's a big deal to a mommy. I'm sorry your heart is hurting. I love you, and am praying for your sweet family. PLEASE call me if you need anything!

Posted Nov 9, 2011 9:33pm

by Holly Campbell

That sucks. What a hard thing to go through. I can only imagine how I would feel if Isaac needed surgery. definitely praying and thinking about all of you. Take care of yourselves so you can take care of Caden.

Posted Nov 8, 2011 8:33pm

by Jess Hood

I totally understand about wanting to get the surgery over with. I will be off from school that week, if you'd like company!

Posted Nov 8, 2011 12:17pm

by Alice Troppy

Thanks for the update. Glad to hear you have appts in place. Hugs & kisses & thoughts & prayers for Caden, Mommy & Daddy.
Love you, Alice Troppy

Posted Nov 8, 2011 11:11am

by Lisa Harshman

Caden is such a loving little boy. He gives great hugs and kisses, and his smile brightens my life. I'm so blessed to be his grandmother. Thank you God (and Cayce and Jerusha too).

Posted Nov 1, 2011 11:12am

by Carl Gehring

We are praying for you, we know its hard but God knows what's best.............

Posted Oct 31, 2011 10:54am

by Sandra Williamson

What a Awesome site : ) Thanks for the invite, I am so Blessed to know Mommy and Daddy and the Main Man Caden : ) Love All Three of you : )

Posted Oct 31, 2011 9:18am

by sarah morris

Jerusha and Cayce... My thoughts and prayers are with you! I also pray for the wisdom, talent, and knowledge for the medical staff who is in the room taking care of Caden. I know that God and many angels are looking after your family. Sending hugs your way!

Posted Oct 30, 2011 7:45pm

by Alice Troppy

Jerusha & Cayce, I am so sorry you & Caden are going through this difficult time right now. Caden is a precious little boy & a pleasure to be around. Keep the faith & know that God will take care of him. I think about y'all often & you are always in my prayers. If there is anything I can do, please let me know. I love you!

Posted Oct 30, 2011 7:39pm

by Lisa Harshman

Caden, My love, Know that Grammy will be here for whatever you, Mommy or Daddy need. I love you all so very much. You are my favorite branch of the Harshman family tree.God will bless and heal you thru his guidance of the doctors and all who help take care of you.
Love,
Grammy

Posted Oct 30, 2011 6:56pm

by Danielle Biehle

Jerusha, just today I read what is going on. God will be with your family every step of the way. Keep your head up through this hard time and God Bless. Cayden will do great! Love you guys!