He Saw You

Dear Caden,

The green grass, birds chirping, and flowers blooming are all signs that the much awaited Springtime has come. With Spring comes the hopping of little bunnies, rivers of chocolate candies and the scattering of Easter eggs with their bright and beautiful colors. It is a time where families gather together to share stories and tables of food.

Springtime wasn't always painted so pretty, and many tears were shed to have the joys of Easter. Easter isn't about candy, pretty eggs and bunnies. Easter is about so very much more - it is the ultimate love story. God himself came down to earth, became one of us - eating, sleeping, breathing, living - just like us. He felt our pain and he loved us. He saw us for what we are, perfectally imperfect.

I adore you Caden and I know that without a shadow of a doubt that I would lay down my life for you in an instant. I will do whatever I can to make sure that you always feel loved and that you never hurt. I know that I will not always succeed, as God must forge and shape you into the man that you are destined to become. Like a beautiful rose bush that starts from a seed, so carefully loved and nurtured until it grows tall. Along the vines there will be sharp thorns from the hardships in life, but at the ends are budding blessings and full, precious blooms. I know that I would lay down my life for my friends and family as well, but a stranger? A complete stranger in a distant land that I have never even laid eyes on? I would like to say that I would, but if I am truly honest with myself, I don't know if I could when the time came.

Jesus, the Creator of life, gave His life so that we could have life everlasting. He suffered terrible pain at the hands of us, His creation whom He loved so much. We laughed at Him, mocked Him, beat Him and then crucified Him. Even through all of this, He loved us, He had a plan.

Thousands of years ago, when Jesus himself was born, He saw you. I had always told myself that I never wanted children, but I think it was my way of protecting myself.  I was told multiple times that I would not be able to have a child, therefore if I didn't want one, in my mind, all was well. You were just a twinkle in my eye, a whispered prayer, a hope. I still remember the day when I found out I was expecting, the many long days of bed rest, the much anticipated sound of your first cry. Everyday you look at me with your big, brown eyes I am complete. Thousands of years ago as Jesus was whipped, and the sand was splattered with His blood, He saw you. For by His stripes we are healed. The day of your cranial surgery, I handed you not to the surgeons, but to the Great Physician. Thousands of years ago as He took His last breath on the cross He saw you. As I watch you grow, I pray that I teach you to love unconditionally, to be honest, to be strong. Do not live your life to please me, but to please Him. There will be times that you may be mocked for your beliefs, but always do that which is right until you take your final breath. Thousands of years ago as Jesus was laid to rest and the stone was rolled in front, He saw you. There may be nights where you cry yourself to sleep. Where you feel like no one cares and you are all alone. When the darkness of this life seems to close in on you know that He is always with you and that you are never alone. Thousands of years ago, when the greatest miracle of all happened, when the King of Kings breathed the breath of life yet again and rose from the grave, He saw you. He died and rose again so that you, My Dear Caden, could have a chance at everlasting life. He loves you so much that He gave His all, He showed us what true love is all about.

So as you run around the yard hyped up on Peeps know that you are loved. Not just by Mommy and Daddy, but by the Most High. Know that you are special, that even though He had never met you, He adored you. He saw you.

Love,
Mommy

"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends" John 15:13

Minding

Dear Caden,

I am cooking dinner and you are busy supervising my every move by standing underneath my feet. You are inspecting everything I do, keeping a watchful eye I assume, to make sure I don't sneak vegetables in. You have a knack for being in the same area that I need to be in - resulting in me constantly trying to move you. Exasperated I ask, "Caden, can you PLEASE move?" You stand there and move your pinky toe and nothing else. I look at you, "Caden, please move. Do you mind?" You look at me with your big brown eyes and say, "No, I no mind." At least you are honest.

Love,
Mommy

Birthday Suit Bounce

Dear Caden,

All it takes is about 5 seconds with my eyes off of you for you to strip down to your birthday suit. I hear you giggle as you streak across the living room. I peak around the corner as you excitedly point to your tinker and I hear, "Momma! I fly! Bounce, bounce, bounce! My tinker bounce!" Oh the joys of raising a boy. . .

Love,
Mommy

Purple Eggs

Dear Caden,

Spring is a wonderful time of year with all the beautiful colors abounding. You are quite content running around screaming out colors at the top of your lungs. This is quite fine by me, however your articulation is a little off sometimes which makes it so entertaining. With Easter around the corner, colorful eggs are there for your screaming enjoyment, especially the purple eggs. . .which sounds like "poo poo heads!" This gets a few stares, but if I must admit, the "poo poo heads" are my favorite too.

Love,
Mommy

Body Parts

Dear Caden,

Ever since you have been potty trained you have been diligent on checking to make sure your tinker is still there. Let me assure you, it is attached and it isn't going anywhere. You can let go of it.

Love,
Mommy

Tiger's Belly Button

Dear Caden,

You recently became fascinated yet again with belly buttons. You like to talk to baby Jacob through my belly button and you like to try to put food in there in an effort to 'feed' Jacob. Unfortunately Tiger became your next target of your intense scrutiny. I find you sitting on the floor with Tiger in a tight hold, I see you lift his tail and I start to scream out as I see your little finger going towards Tiger's behind. "Tiger's belly button Momma!" That my sweet Caden is not a belly button and it never will be.

Love,
Mommy

Unconditional

Dear Caden,

I may not always be the best mother out there, I may embarrass you and make mistakes. As a matter of fact, I promise you I will, though not intentionally. However, I promise to always strive to do my best, to always love you for YOU. You will always be good enough, you will always have a place at home and my arms will always be ready to hug you. I may not always agree with your life's choices, but those are your choices to make. I pray that I will raise you with integrity, honor and a strong work ethic. I pray above all else that I teach you to love and to love wholeheartedly. Life can be cruel and may hurt you, but never give up on love. A smile, a hug and an encouraging word can go farther than you know to someone who looks perfect on the outside but may be crumbling on the inside. I want you to believe in yourself, to know just how amazing and how wonderful you are. Relationships are what you make of them, I promise to do my best to always be there for you. I will be just as excited to see your face when you are 40 as the day that I first saw your face when you were placed in my arms - my love for you will not waver, it will only grow. My love for you is an unconditional love. This I promise.

Love,
Mommy

Kissy Monster

Dear Caden,

What is this?! I give you a simple kiss on your adorable, chubby cheek and you try to shimmy away from me. You take your hand and begin to wipe your cheek trying to scrub off my kiss, "Yucky Momma! Eww! Yuck!" Ummmm, really? You think one kiss was bad? You have now unleashed the kissy monster Caden. . .

Love,
Mommy

Leaking

Dear Caden,

You are in the bath and tell me that you need to go pee pee. You stand up with a look of surprise on your face and go, "Uh oh! My tinker leaked!" Good thing that was the only thing that leaked and lucky for you, bath water is easy to change out.

Love,
Mommy

Midday Bubble Bath

Dear Caden,

The simple words of "poo poo" can easily strike terror in the hearts of any seasoned parent. "Diarrhea" can just push someone right over the edge. Today you won yourself a bubble bath midday because of the a fore mentioned words. Mommy apparently picked the perfect weekend to have Daddy take over caring for you completely. I must admit, it is very difficult for Mommy not to giggle as I recall Daddy's panicked words of, "How do you make it stop?! Make it stop!" as you decided to let loose while in the bathtub. Little does Daddy realize what a blessing it was that you decided to keep it contained while in the tub vs anywhere else. I do hope that you feel better soon my sweet bug because Daddy may end up being traumatized before this is over.

Love,
Mommy

Release the Kraken!

Dear Caden,

It is 6:30 in the morning and I hear you stirring. I sneak into your room and you are still bundled in all of your sheets and blankets. You slowly unfurl from your pile of stuffed animals and 'Release the Kraken!' flashes through my mind. May the shenanigans begin!

Love,
Mommy

Initiation Phase

Dear Caden,

I would get frustrated with you, but I know that your antics tonight were to impress me and to show me how much you truly love me. Daddy gave you a bath so that Mommy, and all her pregnant self, could have a moment of peace without trying to struggle to bend and twist and turn. You know the main rule of keeping the water in the bathtub however, you decided to pour your entire cup filled with water all over the floor. Now Daddy gave me a look that said, "Please help!" So, not only did Daddy have to bathe a slippery, busy boy. . . he got to mop the bathroom floor. Just remember to try and take it easy on Daddy as you take him through this initiation phase and break him in. But just between you and me, I will let you eat extra candy and watch an extra Micky Mouse - well done.

Love,
Mommy

Temperature

Dear Caden,

Ever since I introduced you into the world of temperatures you have been channeling Katy Perry. You're hot then your cold...the temperature's wrong then it's right...

Love,
Mommy

Love

Dear Caden,

Every night before I go to bed, I sneak into your room. I can't help it. I have to steal one last kiss from you - otherwise I cannot sleep. I sometimes pick you up and cuddle you, listening to you sigh in your sleep. I hold you close, feeling your heart beat in rhythm with mine. My mind wanders to the day that I found out I was pregnant with you, to the long days on bed rest making my daily 'happy thoughts' until you arrived, the day you graced us with your presence and my world changed forever and you made me a Mommy. I think of the sly looks that you shoot me right before wreaking havoc on my newly cleaned floors and of all the wet, messy and simply delicious kisses and hugs that you give me on a daily basis. Suddenly your arm wraps around mine and you hold it tight to your chest as if holding your Teddy, I instantly melt. Of all that I have done in my life you, My Dear Caden, are my greatest achievement. I don't know what I did to deserve such an honor to have you as my son. Thank you for being mine.

Love,
Mommy

Tour de Driveway

Dear Caden,

Your little legs pump super fast and you are like a speeding bullet. Yes, it also made Mommy sad when she learned that Lance Armstrong lied and did steroids. Keep training Caden, show Mr. Armstrong how it is done the honest way on the Tour de Driveway.

Love,
Mommy

Practicing on the Tour de Driveway

Faster than a speeding bullet

                            

Lance Armstrong did WHAT?! He cheated?!

Sleep

Dear Caden,

I understand that you are a mad scientist and can recite the formula for gravitational time dilation like your ABC's, but please know that no matter how many times you try, 1 minute of car sleep does NOT equal 1 hour of bed sleep. Ever.

Love,
Mommy

Code Brown

Dear Caden,

Code Brown. Runny poop is everywhere. Down your leg, in your hair, on the floor. Everywhere. The effects of Daddy giving you too much oatmeal is evident. Of course this only happens when Daddy is nowhere to help with the mess that he inspired. This big of a mess is getting more and more difficult to clean up the further I get along in my pregnancy. I sigh and pick you up, racking my brain to figure out the best options to clean you up without making the mess worse. Bathtub is too far away so the downstairs bathroom sink it is. I want to cry, grumbling at Daddy and his convenient disappearance. My frustration is broken by you laying your head on me. You start patting my back and rubbing my arm going, "Shhh, it's otay Mommy, shhhhh. I help! I clean!" You stand up in the sink and bend over - your bum meets the mirror and now I have poop smeared all over the mirror. I am going to go to my happy place now.

Love,
Mommy

Massage

Dear Caden,

We have a routine that we go through every night after your bath. You like to run to my bathroom where we blow dry your hair and you bat your eyes until I agree to put some of Daddy's deodorant on you. Then you choose from Mommy's wide variety of body lotions for me to give you a massage. It originally started with me putting lotion on the small area of eczema on your leg, you quickly capitalized on that and soon started schmoozing your way to a full body massage. You bend over and asked me to rub your 'boowie' (booty) with lotion. I, being such a great Mommy, obliged. You remind me of a puppy getting his back scratched, your tongue slightly hanging out. You started going, "mmmm!" and when I asked if you liked that you breathlessly and emphatically went, "YEEEAAAAHHHH!" I feel awkward.

Love,
Mommy