Dear Jacob,
I see you trying to blow away the dandelion fuzz, your determination is evident as your brows furrow and your pink cheeks puff. It takes you several tries but eventually the stubborn pieces float up in the air causing your blue eyes to light up with excitement. Something so small and simple but so powerful. May you continue to face life's challenges with such vigor and may all your wishes come true.
Love,
Mommy
Monday, July 27, 2015
Thursday, July 23, 2015
Peeing Outside
Dear Caden,
You are outside playing with Namee, running around and splashing her with water. She gets up to go inside.
You ask, "Um, where are you going?"
"To use the restroom, I will be right back."
"You can go out here, just not poop."
"Oh? Why not poop?"
"Because Mommy and Daddy will get mad."
You then proceed to show Namee how she can pee in the backyard and how if she does it juuuuust right she can hit the fence.
Sorry neighbors, I know you called HOA on me last year for my child being indecent in my own backyard. It's summer, he's dripping wet from playing in the water, and I will powerwash the fence before we move. At least you know he's not pooping.
Love,
Mommy
You are outside playing with Namee, running around and splashing her with water. She gets up to go inside.
You ask, "Um, where are you going?"
"To use the restroom, I will be right back."
"You can go out here, just not poop."
"Oh? Why not poop?"
"Because Mommy and Daddy will get mad."
You then proceed to show Namee how she can pee in the backyard and how if she does it juuuuust right she can hit the fence.
Sorry neighbors, I know you called HOA on me last year for my child being indecent in my own backyard. It's summer, he's dripping wet from playing in the water, and I will powerwash the fence before we move. At least you know he's not pooping.
Love,
Mommy
Wednesday, July 22, 2015
I Wanna Bake a Cake!
Dear Jacob,
You are hungry. Then again, you are always hungry. It doesn't matter what we are serving: tacos, spaghetti, crumbled triscuit shards you found in the couch cushions or that lonely goldfish cracker that is hugging the dust bunny under the couch. It is/was food. Did I mention that you are tired? Oh, and that you are two. Those three added together make a pretty scary combination. Perfect storm, every single time. Kim Kardashian's ugly cry face and drama has nothing on you. You also have Momma's eye for seeing details. This became apparent when we were serving you and Caden up some ice cream. Caden requested gummy bears and chocolate syrup on his. In went 4 gummy bears completely covered with syrup. I gave you three gummy bears - big mistake. Even though you could not SEE Caden's gummy bears, you KNEW you had one less than him. The Force is strong in you. You give me the Jedi mind trick and another gummy landed in your bowl. That appeased you for approximately 18.0035 seconds until the blob of ice cream on your spoon landed on your belly and rolled onto the floor. This elicits a 'The world is ending Right. This. Second.' cry and chocolate syrup gets smeared everywhere with your spoon being thrown halfway across the table. Crying and smearing I can do, spoon throwing- not so much.
"Jacob! No sir, we don't throw our spoons!"
Grunting, groaning and exaggerated posing in your chair with you hanging halfway out.
"Are you ready to take a bath and go to bed?"
"NO! I wanna bake a cake!"
I pick you up to bathe you and you go complete limp noodle on me. I'm still trying to figure out how your body gains an extra 25 lbs when it does this.
Throughout the day I see facebook postings of my friend's beautiful babies and my heartstrings pull. I remember your newborn smell and your oh so sweet cuddles and slobbery kisses. I think, well....maybe we can adopt a little girl. Suddenly I am brought back into reality as you begin bucking in my arms and head butt me hitting my nose causing me to pray it isn't broken as you wail because you dropped your baby. The rest of the evening was one meltdown after another. You cried because:
-I turned off the light and you wanted to. (So I turned it back on) Then you cried because you didn't want to turn off the light
-I undid your diaper and you wanted to do it
-I put the wrong lotion on you (even though it's the same lotion every night)
-I wouldn't allow you to stick your finger in the fan
-I wouldn't allow you to electrocute yourself by sticking your slobbery fingers in the outlet
-I wouldn't allow you to use Caden's toothbrush
-I wouldn't allow you to wash baby in the toilet
Nope. I'm good. I am going to lay you down and shut my ovary up with ice cream. Hopefully mine stays on my spoon.
Love,
Mommy
You are hungry. Then again, you are always hungry. It doesn't matter what we are serving: tacos, spaghetti, crumbled triscuit shards you found in the couch cushions or that lonely goldfish cracker that is hugging the dust bunny under the couch. It is/was food. Did I mention that you are tired? Oh, and that you are two. Those three added together make a pretty scary combination. Perfect storm, every single time. Kim Kardashian's ugly cry face and drama has nothing on you. You also have Momma's eye for seeing details. This became apparent when we were serving you and Caden up some ice cream. Caden requested gummy bears and chocolate syrup on his. In went 4 gummy bears completely covered with syrup. I gave you three gummy bears - big mistake. Even though you could not SEE Caden's gummy bears, you KNEW you had one less than him. The Force is strong in you. You give me the Jedi mind trick and another gummy landed in your bowl. That appeased you for approximately 18.0035 seconds until the blob of ice cream on your spoon landed on your belly and rolled onto the floor. This elicits a 'The world is ending Right. This. Second.' cry and chocolate syrup gets smeared everywhere with your spoon being thrown halfway across the table. Crying and smearing I can do, spoon throwing- not so much.
"Jacob! No sir, we don't throw our spoons!"
Grunting, groaning and exaggerated posing in your chair with you hanging halfway out.
"Are you ready to take a bath and go to bed?"
"NO! I wanna bake a cake!"
I pick you up to bathe you and you go complete limp noodle on me. I'm still trying to figure out how your body gains an extra 25 lbs when it does this.
Throughout the day I see facebook postings of my friend's beautiful babies and my heartstrings pull. I remember your newborn smell and your oh so sweet cuddles and slobbery kisses. I think, well....maybe we can adopt a little girl. Suddenly I am brought back into reality as you begin bucking in my arms and head butt me hitting my nose causing me to pray it isn't broken as you wail because you dropped your baby. The rest of the evening was one meltdown after another. You cried because:
-I turned off the light and you wanted to. (So I turned it back on) Then you cried because you didn't want to turn off the light
-I undid your diaper and you wanted to do it
-I put the wrong lotion on you (even though it's the same lotion every night)
-I wouldn't allow you to stick your finger in the fan
-I wouldn't allow you to electrocute yourself by sticking your slobbery fingers in the outlet
-I wouldn't allow you to use Caden's toothbrush
-I wouldn't allow you to wash baby in the toilet
Nope. I'm good. I am going to lay you down and shut my ovary up with ice cream. Hopefully mine stays on my spoon.
Love,
Mommy
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