Dear Caden,
Today will be a little different for you. Today we say goodbye to PaPaw Harshman. He loved you, and we loved him. Mommy also said goodbye to her Grandpa Brown 10 yrs ago today. If you see Mommy cry, its ok. Mommy has a heavy heart, but she promises to keep their memories alive by telling you stories of them and sharing pictures. Even though you've never met one, and unfortunately won't remember the other, they will not be forgotten. This Mommy promises.
Love,
Mommy
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Monday, June 25, 2012
My Little Turkey
Dear Caden,
When Mommy calls you a little turkey because you are acting up, you don't have to respond with
"Thank you!" It wasn't a compliment, but I have to admit- it sure was cute; but please start acting normal again, I miss my old Caden.
Love,
Mommy
When Mommy calls you a little turkey because you are acting up, you don't have to respond with
"Thank you!" It wasn't a compliment, but I have to admit- it sure was cute; but please start acting normal again, I miss my old Caden.
Love,
Mommy
Friday, June 8, 2012
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Simply Fantastic
Dear Caden,
Recently the British were broadcasting the Queen's Diamond Jubilee. Every other word that was spoken seemed to be, "fantastic, brilliant, superb." This got me thinking. Imagine if we started using those words in our everyday language like the British do. Perhaps we wouldn't be so negative. I am going to try and say one of those words at least once a day, just because I think it would be simply fantastic to do so.
Speaking of fantastic, we had such an amazing day with your Aunt Nika and cousin Caleb. We played inside the house with your massive amounts of toys, then we walked around the neighborhood while you and Caleb chilled in the wagon. You enjoyed pointing out all of the flowers and Caleb enjoyed telling us stories. I love our walks, I hope that that is a tradition that we can continue. I feel as though the world slows down and allows us to breathe in it's beauty. We can admire the butterflies that flutter around and giggle at the clouds that make the silliest shapes. Our daily walk is so special to me, and I hope that as you grow older that you will continue to appreciate the beauty of the outdoors and the quality family time that it brings. Before you were born, I would take daily walks (even though I was supposed to be on bed rest), but this was my special time with just you and God. This is where I would talk to you both, and I know that I had an audience with the Most High. It was a beautiful time.
I am so excited to see what summer will continue to unfold. Whatever the days may show us, I know it will be simply fantastic.
Love,
Mommy
Recently the British were broadcasting the Queen's Diamond Jubilee. Every other word that was spoken seemed to be, "fantastic, brilliant, superb." This got me thinking. Imagine if we started using those words in our everyday language like the British do. Perhaps we wouldn't be so negative. I am going to try and say one of those words at least once a day, just because I think it would be simply fantastic to do so.
Speaking of fantastic, we had such an amazing day with your Aunt Nika and cousin Caleb. We played inside the house with your massive amounts of toys, then we walked around the neighborhood while you and Caleb chilled in the wagon. You enjoyed pointing out all of the flowers and Caleb enjoyed telling us stories. I love our walks, I hope that that is a tradition that we can continue. I feel as though the world slows down and allows us to breathe in it's beauty. We can admire the butterflies that flutter around and giggle at the clouds that make the silliest shapes. Our daily walk is so special to me, and I hope that as you grow older that you will continue to appreciate the beauty of the outdoors and the quality family time that it brings. Before you were born, I would take daily walks (even though I was supposed to be on bed rest), but this was my special time with just you and God. This is where I would talk to you both, and I know that I had an audience with the Most High. It was a beautiful time.
I am so excited to see what summer will continue to unfold. Whatever the days may show us, I know it will be simply fantastic.
Love,
Mommy
 |
| A Splashing good time with my Cousin Caleb! |
Sunday, June 3, 2012
A Reddi Whip kinda day
Dear Caden,
Summer is here! Mommy recently left a job that she dearly loved so that she could spend more time with you. Instead of being a stem cell transplant nurse, Mommy became a school nurse....and school is OUT!! This change was rough on Mommy, but I hope that when you are older you will understand that family must come first. You will only be little for a small time, and Mommy wanted to try and catch all of those wonderful moments of you growing up.
You have quickly learned that going to Aunt Jessica's house usually ends up with some sort of food being given to you. As we go on our daily walks, your little feet scamper quickly to Aunt Jessica's door. 'Tap, tap, tap' as you knock as loudly as you can, then you stand on your tippy toes straining to reach the yet unattainable doorbell. I am sure that as summer comes to a close, that you will be able to reach the doorbell and press it to your little heart's content. Until then, I lift you up and you press the doorbell proudly. Then you peer into the glass door, waiting for movement. Who will answer? Will it be your beloved Hannah? Perhaps Cameron, or Kayleigh? This time it is Aunt Jessica herself and your face lights up with such a beautiful smile. You love your Aunt Jessica, or perhaps it is the treats she gives you that are normally forbidden at Mommy's house? As she scoops you up in her arms, you bury your head in her neck and hug her. No, you love your Aunt Jessica for the amazing friend she is to you and to Mommy.
We decided to sit outside and let you play with the water hose. Oh, how you love the water hose. Then Aunt Jessica brings out the Reddi Whip and maraschino cherries. You instantly become glued to her. Forget Mommy. You open your mouth, likening to a little chick waiting for it's mommy to feed it. In goes the Reddi Whip, in which you become an instant fan. And the cherries, delicious pure sugar. Who doesn't like that?
With the Reddi Whip container in hand and the water hose in the other, you are set. We watch you play, occasionally spraying us with the water, and the absolute delight on your face makes my heart smile. You eat the Reddi Whip that somehow found its way in your hair and your pruny fingers try to share some of the white treat sprinkled with grass pieces with Mommy. Thanks, but no thanks...perhaps next time. I lean back in my chair and I see you drenched, giggling with excitement, enjoying squirting the Reddi Whip. I sigh with contentment watching you as you laugh and give us wet, sticky hugs and kisses. Summer is here my son. This is what summer is about. Time with family and friends. Time for fun. We have many more beautiful days ahead of us. Many more days of wetness, of squeals of glee, of maraschino cherries and Reddi Whip.
Love,
Mommy
Summer is here! Mommy recently left a job that she dearly loved so that she could spend more time with you. Instead of being a stem cell transplant nurse, Mommy became a school nurse....and school is OUT!! This change was rough on Mommy, but I hope that when you are older you will understand that family must come first. You will only be little for a small time, and Mommy wanted to try and catch all of those wonderful moments of you growing up.
You have quickly learned that going to Aunt Jessica's house usually ends up with some sort of food being given to you. As we go on our daily walks, your little feet scamper quickly to Aunt Jessica's door. 'Tap, tap, tap' as you knock as loudly as you can, then you stand on your tippy toes straining to reach the yet unattainable doorbell. I am sure that as summer comes to a close, that you will be able to reach the doorbell and press it to your little heart's content. Until then, I lift you up and you press the doorbell proudly. Then you peer into the glass door, waiting for movement. Who will answer? Will it be your beloved Hannah? Perhaps Cameron, or Kayleigh? This time it is Aunt Jessica herself and your face lights up with such a beautiful smile. You love your Aunt Jessica, or perhaps it is the treats she gives you that are normally forbidden at Mommy's house? As she scoops you up in her arms, you bury your head in her neck and hug her. No, you love your Aunt Jessica for the amazing friend she is to you and to Mommy.
We decided to sit outside and let you play with the water hose. Oh, how you love the water hose. Then Aunt Jessica brings out the Reddi Whip and maraschino cherries. You instantly become glued to her. Forget Mommy. You open your mouth, likening to a little chick waiting for it's mommy to feed it. In goes the Reddi Whip, in which you become an instant fan. And the cherries, delicious pure sugar. Who doesn't like that?
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With the Reddi Whip container in hand and the water hose in the other, you are set. We watch you play, occasionally spraying us with the water, and the absolute delight on your face makes my heart smile. You eat the Reddi Whip that somehow found its way in your hair and your pruny fingers try to share some of the white treat sprinkled with grass pieces with Mommy. Thanks, but no thanks...perhaps next time. I lean back in my chair and I see you drenched, giggling with excitement, enjoying squirting the Reddi Whip. I sigh with contentment watching you as you laugh and give us wet, sticky hugs and kisses. Summer is here my son. This is what summer is about. Time with family and friends. Time for fun. We have many more beautiful days ahead of us. Many more days of wetness, of squeals of glee, of maraschino cherries and Reddi Whip.
Love,
Mommy
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Happiness
Dear Caden,
Today I wasn't feeling very well so you decided to hang out with Aunt Jessica all day. This was the first time that you have been gone from me for so long (besides when I am working) while I am off. I felt like a horrible mom. Hearing your shrieks of laughter told me that you were doing just fine. Today you turned 19 months. Where has the time gone? It truly amazes me how much you have changed over these past few months. Since your surgery in December, you have sprouted up and now you have a ton of hair! You eat non stop and giggle at nearly everything you see. You are such a happy little boy. I pray that you keep that sense of happiness with you, that sense of peace. You bring a smile to everyone's face. I know that God has something amazing for you to do. Just keep a tender heart, sweet Caden, and let Him guide you. I will do my best to be there by your side and pray for you. Know that you are well loved Caden, and you have so many people out there that pray for you, even if you never see them...they are there. I never knew love like the love I have with you. When they first laid you on my chest after you were born and you stared into my eyes- I wondered if the last vision you saw before me were the Angels in Heaven and God. There is not a thing that I would change about you Caden, you are perfect in every way to me. I will tell you about your scar on your head when you are older, but wear that scar with pride. That scar symbolizes that God answers prayers, and that you have a higher calling in this life, that you, Dear Caden, are special. This evening as I play with you, and read you "Tikki tikki toomba" for the 10th time, I cherish the time I spend with you. Your soft skin against mine, your excited breathing as we read through the pages of the book, your long lashes slowly blinking over your sleepy eyes. This is happiness, this is what life is truly about. It is about finding the colonies of cheerios hiding out in the couch cushions, milk puddles on the floor, Picasso poop art on your bedroom wall. Its about snuggling with a feverish child while teething and allowing him ice cream for dinner 'just because' he doesn't feel well. It's about love. And that is what I have with you sweet Caden, love. I can't wait to see what you will become, but I also pray that time slows down so that I can cherish every moment and not miss a thing. Thank you for being mine.
Love,
Mommy
Love,
Mommy
The Jungle of Motherhood
Today I am continuing on a journey. A journey through the Junglehood of Motherhood. I started this journey on November 2, 2010 and have learned that motherhood is a series of lessons to be learned. Some so very easy, and some I have yet to still grasp the concept of. Caden, my happy thought, has been very diligent in teaching me these lessons. Every once in awhile I will write Caden a letter while I am hiding in the trenches of cheerios and tonka trucks, hopefully imparting some wisdom to him as he does for me. I pray that I can become the mother to Caden that God has planned for me to be. Life has not been easy, but with Caden, it sure has been fun.
Old letters to Caden
Here are some older "letters" that I wrote to Caden that I have dug up.
Dec 10, 2010
Dear Caden,
It really is ok to sleep longer than 45 minutes at a time. I promise you're not missing out on anything. Love, Mommy
May 20, 2011
Dear Caden,
Please stop trying to eat the random roly poly bugs that you find on the floor. I am sure in another country they are considered a delicacy, however in our house we don't eat them.
Thanks, love Mommy
June 20, 2011
Dear Caden,
Please do not think I'm trying to quell your artistic abilities, I'm just trying to redirect them. Using your poop as your medium and the crib/walls as your canvas are not acceptable . I will gladly invest in some non toxic finger paints and paper ASAP as I understand you may be the next Picasso or Monet.
Thanks, love Mommy
August 19, 2011
Dear Caden,
I may not be perfect but my promise to you is,I will love you for youNot for what you have done or what you will become. I will love you for you. I will give you the love. The love that you never knew.
All my love, Mommy
August 25, 2011
Dear Caden,
I promise there are no toys in your bottom dresser drawer. No matter how many times you pull out the clothes, there won't be any toys hiding. Promise. So can you leave your clothes folded and put away? Thanks, Mommy
November 10, 2011
Dear Caden,
I know you love Vader, and I know that you love food. However you do not need to love Vader's food. Please leave it in his doggy bowl. And if you want water I can give you your cup, you do not need to swim in his water bowl either. Resist the urge, trust me, you will be just fine if you left it alone. I promise.
Love, Mommy
May 22, 2012
Dear Caden,
I know that lately we have been clapping for you every time you sit on your potty chair as we prepare you for (hopefully) potty training you this summer. But please know that it is not necessary to clap for Mommy and yell as loud as you can "yeah Mommy!" when she is using the restroom. In public. Where you're voice echoes to the back of the store. Thank you for being proud of Mommy, but she no longer needs encouragement, but hold on to it in case I need it in 60+ yrs or so. And yes, the lady in the stall was giggling at you. And yes, you are still too stinking cute, but really...if you have to be excited when I potty, just clap...no cheers are necessary. I am positive on this.
Love, Mommy
PS. This also includes saying "shewie, Mommy!" when you hear the gentleman next to us toot in the shopping isle. It's a good thing I love you so much because you are incredibly embarrassing but hilarious
May 24, 2012
Dear Caden,
Tonight you were sleeping so very peacefully and I decided to pick you up and sit on the floor of your bedroom and hold you close. I could feel your soft breath on my face as you breathed in life and chased your dreams. I watched your long eyelashes move ever so slightly as you dreamed of beautiful days of fun with friends and family. Your fingers curled around my hand and I could admire every beautiful detail of your fingers, your beautiful nails so perfectly made- even one or two with dirt still under them from playing outside. I smiled as I thought of all the amazing things that you will be able to accomplish with those hands, hands that I lifted up to the Lord as I dedicated you to Him. I admired your small ears, whispering in them words of love and prayer that one day as you continue to grow and hear the Word of the Lord, that you would make the right decisions in life. I kissed your tiny toes, praying that you would follow the right paths in life, down the road less traveled, even though it would be difficult. Know that I will be there, every step of the way to encourage you on your journey in life. I felt your heart beat in rhythm with mine and I prayed that you would continue to have a tender heart for Him. That you would one day find a perfect soul mate to share your life and your heart with. I ran my fingers over your scar on your head and I smiled. This is a constant reminder of how special and perfect you are. That you are meant for something amazing in life. I just closed my eyes and held you as you slept, and you healed me. You are my greatest gift and achievement. I pray constantly that I am the mother God would have me be for you. Be patient with me sweet Caden, we are on this journey together and we will make mistakes. But know that no matter what, you will always be my baby and I will always love you. Thank you for letting me hold you and love you. Thank you for being mine.
Love, Mommy
May 28, 2012
Dear Caden,
Today is Memorial Day. A day that we all gather with our friends and family and gorge ourselves with delicious food and play games until dark. But sweet Caden, today is something so much more. Today is a day that we MUST remember all of those that have served our country past and present. This country has been built by the tears and blood of the Brave who have given their all. The families who selflessly live their lives knowing that their loved one is somewhere fighting for us. We MUST remember these families, friends who have lost someone. We may not know who they are in the sea of faces we see day to day, so you MUST show respect to everyone you meet, bc you do not know. You need to support these families and pray for them. We have our freedom because of these Brave men and women. It is important to always stand with your hand on your heart when the flag is walked in and the anthem is sung. Sadly, many of your friends won't do this, so it is important that you do. You must remember that Memorial day isn't a bunch of history lessons, it is so much more. It is to remember those that lived, laughed and loved. Those that prayed for you even before you were a twinkle in my eye. Those that gave the ultimate sacrifice. So today, Sweet Caden, as you run and play today, know that you are so loved and blessed. It is an honor to live in the USA. Remember....
Love, Mommy
Dec 10, 2010
Dear Caden,
It really is ok to sleep longer than 45 minutes at a time. I promise you're not missing out on anything. Love, Mommy
May 20, 2011
Dear Caden,
Please stop trying to eat the random roly poly bugs that you find on the floor. I am sure in another country they are considered a delicacy, however in our house we don't eat them.
Thanks, love Mommy
June 20, 2011
Dear Caden,
Please do not think I'm trying to quell your artistic abilities, I'm just trying to redirect them. Using your poop as your medium and the crib/walls as your canvas are not acceptable . I will gladly invest in some non toxic finger paints and paper ASAP as I understand you may be the next Picasso or Monet.
Thanks, love Mommy
August 19, 2011
Dear Caden,
I may not be perfect but my promise to you is,I will love you for youNot for what you have done or what you will become. I will love you for you. I will give you the love. The love that you never knew.
All my love, Mommy
August 25, 2011
Dear Caden,
I promise there are no toys in your bottom dresser drawer. No matter how many times you pull out the clothes, there won't be any toys hiding. Promise. So can you leave your clothes folded and put away? Thanks, Mommy
November 10, 2011
Dear Caden,
I know you love Vader, and I know that you love food. However you do not need to love Vader's food. Please leave it in his doggy bowl. And if you want water I can give you your cup, you do not need to swim in his water bowl either. Resist the urge, trust me, you will be just fine if you left it alone. I promise.
Love, Mommy
May 22, 2012
Dear Caden,
I know that lately we have been clapping for you every time you sit on your potty chair as we prepare you for (hopefully) potty training you this summer. But please know that it is not necessary to clap for Mommy and yell as loud as you can "yeah Mommy!" when she is using the restroom. In public. Where you're voice echoes to the back of the store. Thank you for being proud of Mommy, but she no longer needs encouragement, but hold on to it in case I need it in 60+ yrs or so. And yes, the lady in the stall was giggling at you. And yes, you are still too stinking cute, but really...if you have to be excited when I potty, just clap...no cheers are necessary. I am positive on this.
Love, Mommy
PS. This also includes saying "shewie, Mommy!" when you hear the gentleman next to us toot in the shopping isle. It's a good thing I love you so much because you are incredibly embarrassing but hilarious
May 24, 2012
Dear Caden,
Tonight you were sleeping so very peacefully and I decided to pick you up and sit on the floor of your bedroom and hold you close. I could feel your soft breath on my face as you breathed in life and chased your dreams. I watched your long eyelashes move ever so slightly as you dreamed of beautiful days of fun with friends and family. Your fingers curled around my hand and I could admire every beautiful detail of your fingers, your beautiful nails so perfectly made- even one or two with dirt still under them from playing outside. I smiled as I thought of all the amazing things that you will be able to accomplish with those hands, hands that I lifted up to the Lord as I dedicated you to Him. I admired your small ears, whispering in them words of love and prayer that one day as you continue to grow and hear the Word of the Lord, that you would make the right decisions in life. I kissed your tiny toes, praying that you would follow the right paths in life, down the road less traveled, even though it would be difficult. Know that I will be there, every step of the way to encourage you on your journey in life. I felt your heart beat in rhythm with mine and I prayed that you would continue to have a tender heart for Him. That you would one day find a perfect soul mate to share your life and your heart with. I ran my fingers over your scar on your head and I smiled. This is a constant reminder of how special and perfect you are. That you are meant for something amazing in life. I just closed my eyes and held you as you slept, and you healed me. You are my greatest gift and achievement. I pray constantly that I am the mother God would have me be for you. Be patient with me sweet Caden, we are on this journey together and we will make mistakes. But know that no matter what, you will always be my baby and I will always love you. Thank you for letting me hold you and love you. Thank you for being mine.
Love, Mommy
May 28, 2012
Dear Caden,
Today is Memorial Day. A day that we all gather with our friends and family and gorge ourselves with delicious food and play games until dark. But sweet Caden, today is something so much more. Today is a day that we MUST remember all of those that have served our country past and present. This country has been built by the tears and blood of the Brave who have given their all. The families who selflessly live their lives knowing that their loved one is somewhere fighting for us. We MUST remember these families, friends who have lost someone. We may not know who they are in the sea of faces we see day to day, so you MUST show respect to everyone you meet, bc you do not know. You need to support these families and pray for them. We have our freedom because of these Brave men and women. It is important to always stand with your hand on your heart when the flag is walked in and the anthem is sung. Sadly, many of your friends won't do this, so it is important that you do. You must remember that Memorial day isn't a bunch of history lessons, it is so much more. It is to remember those that lived, laughed and loved. Those that prayed for you even before you were a twinkle in my eye. Those that gave the ultimate sacrifice. So today, Sweet Caden, as you run and play today, know that you are so loved and blessed. It is an honor to live in the USA. Remember....
Love, Mommy
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