Happy Mother's Day

Dear Caden,

It is Mother's Day. I sit here, on the cusp of delivering your baby brother any day into this world, and my mind begins to wander. I think of the anticipation, excitement and nervousness in the days right before you arrived two years ago. I remember the long days of bed rest where I had to make up a 'Happy Thought' every day in order to stay positive. You became my ultimate Happy Thought. . . and looking at you now with all of the laughter and chaos you have blessed me with, you have not disappointed. I remember the euphoria of hearing your throaty cry and kissing your soft face for the first time.

At the time I became pregnant with you I had often wondered what type of mother I would be. Would I be one that was laissez-faire, one that would be free and easy going and allow you to do just about anything?  Or would I be crazy strict, militant and expect you to walk the imaginary straight line? I pray that I am a happy mixture of both types. I want you to know that there are rules in this life and that consequences must be paid if you step out of your boundaries, but I also want you to have fun. I want you to be able to laugh easily and be creative. I want you to know that yes, when you make mistakes that you will have to fix them yourself, but that our door will always be open and that you will always have a mommy that loves you no matter what. I want you to excel in life and become the man that God designed for you to be. I want you to be humble, strong, a friend to those that are different. I want you to be you. I want for you to think back on your childhood and not struggle with finding happy memories, but rather struggle to find a favorite happy memory. I am not perfect and there will be days that I may lean to one side more than the other in parenting, but no matter what - know that beyond a shadow of a doubt I adore and love you.

Thank you for making me a mother. Thank you for putting a smile on my face and for driving me absolutely bonkers. Thank you for being my "Stinky Face" and for saving me from those evil 'Piders' in the form of stickers (or the real deal). Thank you for teaching me that spilt milk or pancake syrup on a newly mopped floor isn't the end of the world - just really close to it. Thank you for the slimy, yet absolutely delicious, wet kisses. Thank you for teaching me to stop and take time to rediscover the world and how beautiful it really is, through your eyes. Thank you for being you, for you are simply amazing and breathtaking. You are worth every sleepless night, every tear, every laugh, every sigh of frustration and utter contentment. . .everything.

When Jacob comes I pray that he is just as amazing as you are. I will celebrate each of you for your different talents and for who you are separately. Each of you are Fearfully and Wonderfully made by God and I am blessed beyond measure and my cup runneth over. Be the best big brother you know how to be and show him the ropes of life. Protect him and love him. Share your toys with him and race after bubbles with him. Make forts out of sheets and have camp outs on the bedroom floor. Create masterpieces out of macaroni noodles and mud. Give him a wet willy and run like crazy. . .

As this Mother's Day draws to a close, Daddy and you celebrated me today. However, today we also celebrated you - for it was because of you that I became more than just a girl with a twinkle in her eye. Because of you I was granted to a much higher calling, the calling of Motherhood.

Love,
Mommy