I Wanna Bake a Cake!

Dear Jacob,

You are hungry. Then again, you are always hungry. It doesn't matter what we are serving: tacos, spaghetti, crumbled triscuit shards you found in the couch cushions or that lonely goldfish cracker that is hugging the dust bunny under the couch. It is/was food. Did I mention that you are tired? Oh, and that you are two. Those three added together make a pretty scary combination. Perfect storm, every single time. Kim Kardashian's ugly cry face and drama has nothing on you. You also have Momma's eye for seeing details. This became apparent when we were serving you and Caden up some ice cream. Caden requested gummy bears and chocolate syrup on his. In went 4 gummy bears completely covered with syrup. I gave you three gummy bears - big mistake. Even though you could not SEE Caden's gummy bears, you KNEW you had one less than him. The Force is strong in you. You give me the Jedi mind trick and another gummy landed in your bowl. That appeased you for approximately 18.0035 seconds until the blob of ice cream on your spoon landed on your belly and rolled onto the floor. This elicits a 'The world is ending Right. This. Second.' cry and chocolate syrup gets smeared everywhere with your spoon being thrown halfway across the table. Crying and smearing I can do, spoon throwing- not so much.

"Jacob! No sir, we don't throw our spoons!"

Grunting, groaning and exaggerated posing in your chair with you hanging halfway out.

"Are you ready to take a bath and go to bed?"

"NO! I wanna bake a cake!"

I pick you up to bathe you and you go complete limp noodle on me. I'm still trying to figure out how your body gains an extra 25 lbs when it does this.

Throughout the day I see facebook postings of my friend's beautiful babies and my heartstrings pull. I remember your newborn smell and your oh so sweet cuddles and slobbery kisses. I think, well....maybe we can adopt a little girl. Suddenly I am brought back into reality as you begin bucking in my arms and head butt me hitting my nose causing me to pray it isn't broken as you wail because you dropped your baby. The rest of the evening was one meltdown after another. You cried because:

-I turned off the light and you wanted to. (So I turned it back on) Then you cried because you didn't want to turn off the light
-I undid your diaper and you wanted to do it
-I put the wrong lotion on you (even though it's the same lotion every night)
-I wouldn't allow you to stick your finger in the fan
-I wouldn't allow you to electrocute yourself by sticking your slobbery fingers in the outlet
-I wouldn't allow you to use Caden's toothbrush
-I wouldn't allow you to wash baby in the toilet

Nope. I'm good. I am going to lay you down and shut my ovary up with ice cream. Hopefully mine stays on my spoon.

Love,
Mommy