Happiness

Dear Caden,

Today I wasn't feeling very well so you decided to hang out with Aunt Jessica all day. This was the first time that you have been gone from me for so long (besides when I am working) while I am off. I felt like a horrible mom. Hearing your shrieks of laughter told me that you were doing just fine. Today you turned 19 months. Where has the time gone? It truly amazes me how much you have changed over these past few months. Since your surgery in December, you have sprouted up and now you have a ton of hair! You eat non stop and giggle at nearly everything you see. You are such a happy little boy. I pray that you keep that sense of happiness with you, that sense of peace. You bring a smile to everyone's face. I know that God has something amazing for you to do. Just keep a tender heart, sweet Caden, and let Him guide you. I will do my best to be there by your side and pray for you. Know that you are well loved Caden, and you have so many people out there that pray for you, even if you never see them...they are there. I never knew love like the love I have with you. When they first laid you on my chest after you were born and you stared into my eyes- I wondered if the last vision you saw before me were the Angels in Heaven and God. There is not a thing that I would change about you Caden, you are perfect in every way to me. I will tell you about your scar on your head when you are older, but wear that scar with pride. That scar symbolizes that God answers prayers, and that you have a higher calling in this life, that you, Dear Caden, are special. This evening as I play with you, and read you "Tikki tikki toomba" for the 10th time, I cherish the time I spend with you. Your soft skin against mine, your excited breathing as we read through the pages of the book, your long lashes slowly blinking over your sleepy eyes. This is happiness, this is what life is truly about. It is about finding the colonies of cheerios hiding out in the couch cushions, milk puddles on the floor, Picasso poop art on your bedroom wall. Its about snuggling with a feverish child while teething and allowing him ice cream for dinner 'just because' he doesn't feel well. It's about love. And that is what I have with you sweet Caden, love. I can't wait to see what you will become, but I also pray that time slows down so that I can cherish every moment and not miss a thing. Thank you for being mine.
Love,
Mommy