Dear Caden: On The Road To Recovery!

***This is a repost from Caden's Caring Pages which were written while we were waiting for, and after Caden's Cranial Vault Reconstructive surgery***

The day of surgery has come and gone and we are officially on the road to recovery! Thank you Jesus for keeping your hands on my baby! I know I haven't updated in a few days, the PICU didn't really allow for much room so I have had to wait until now. Let's go back a few days and start from the beginning:

Dec 20th (Tuesday): Today is the day of surgery! After many days of counting down and anxiously waiting, the day has come! Poor little Caden wasn't able to eat after midnight, but was able to have some apple juice at 0730 when he woke up. We packed up the car, and headed to TCH since we had to be there at 0900. Caden's surgery was scheduled for 1100...which as you can probably guess didn't happen at that time. Medicine is notorious for being behind. However, I would rather the surgeons be late because they were taking their time to do something correctly for another child than just doing surgeries for the almighty dollar. Caden did exceptionally well while we were waiting for his surgery, especially considering that he had nothing in his tummy and he was a hungry little bug :) We had ministers from our church: Bro. Charles Johnson and Bro. Walea, along with my family say prayers over Caden, the surgeons, nurses and all who would have contact or care for Caden, that they would have the wisdom and guidance of God while they took care of him. My parents, Cayce's mother, and Aunt Sam came and waited the day out with us- which was more than appreciated since Cayce and I were stretched tighter than a rubber band. Nika, Cayce's sister really wanted to come, but she was sick and didn't want to get anyone else sick, but we felt her there by heart. My friend from UT also came by to say hi, Vianca, it was wonderful to see her and get support from her as well. Surgery finally began at 2pm for him. The hours waiting for the surgery to begin were torture because I could see my Caden flirting with everyone and playing around just knowing that so soon he would be in so much pain and that his life would be forever changed. They called Cayce and I back to the holding area where we changed Caden into a little hospital outfit (which kept falling off of him because it was massively huge on him). We played with him for about 45 min while they were getting the OR ready for him and we finished signing all the consent forms. Those themselves can give you a heart attack hearing all the things that might possibly go wrong- even if it is a 0.00001% chance. *sigh*

Caden decided that he wanted to ride in one of those plastic cars that red with a yellow top, so we pushed him around the pod for 45 minutes until they took him to the OR. He was adorable, he had his little feet hanging out of the windows and was helping us "steer" the car, usually in the wrong direction. I think I know what someone might get for Christmas if I can find a good deal on Craigs list!

Daddy and Caden before surgery

Then my heart skipped a beat as they called out Caden's name. I prayed that it was another Caden, but who was I kidding. I knew his time had come. I held on to him so tightly and I couldn't help it, but tears were escaping. I wanted to be strong for him because I wanted him to know that all was well, that he was in good hands. I kissed him so many times and kept telling him that "Mommy and Daddy love you, and we are right here, we aren't going anywhere!" The next thing I did was the hardest thing that I have ever had to do, and that was to hand over my perfectly healthy and beautiful son to a stranger and tell him that he better take the best care of my baby or else. I wasn't sure what the 'or else' would end up being, but Lord knows I would make sure it wouldn't be pretty. Watching him take my son through those double doors broke my heart, at that moment I literally couldn't breath. I watched through the windows until they turned the corner and I could no longer see my happy thought. Worst moment of my life ever. Was I making the right decisions? Are we really, beyond a shadow of a doubt completely positive that he needed this surgery? I knew I had seen his CT scans and it showed that there was no way that Caden would have a normal life without this, that yes he needed it, but...this is my baby, my happy thought, my greatest achievement, my true love that makes me laugh and smile. if anything happened to him devastation wouldn't even being to cover how I would feel. But I knew that we literally had hundreds of people praying for Caden and I knew that it was going to be ok. That I needed to let go and let God.

Surgery lasted for about 4 hours or so. Longest 4 hrs I think I have ever twiddled my thumbs through, except for those random nursing school lectures. :) But we made it! We finally got to go back to PACU (post anesthesia care unit) about 7pm to see him.

The moment my heart stood still

My heart felt like it literally stopped for a few seconds. I cried and leaned over and told him how sorry I was for all of this to have happened to him. His face was swollen, he still had blood on parts of his face and his ears. His mouth was so dry and his lips were cracked and bleeding. His head was bandaged and he had two JP (Jackson Pratt) drains, one behind each ear. He was still really groggy from the anesthesia so he didn't open his eyes. He would wiggle his toes and fingers when he heard us talking to him. I wanted to hold him so bad, but because he was recovering and had drains and telemetry monitors on him I figured that the PACU nurse would feel better if we let Caden just stayed laying down. We stayed in the PACU unit for about 1h 45 min until we were transferred to the PICU (pediatric intensive care unit) We get an amazing nurse named Janus who took excellent care of Caden. Kept his pain management under control (which is super amazing bc nurses sometimes forget the little ones unless they are out and out crying). Great job Janus, don't worry- we are keeping a list of the RNs that are doing amazing jobs.

My precious baby, My Caden

Dec 21 (Wednesday): This morning we had a surprise! Rhonda Wolfe, a friend from church and a nurse manager for the Pulmonary and Endocrine units at TCH, brought me some REAL coffee and my husband and I some donuts. It was super kind of her! Needless to say we are still in the PICU. Caden has been having lot of pain during the night and is taking morphine and loratab. Hey, if someone cut on my skull, I think I would be hurting too! He was also febrile running temps of 101.8 throughout the day and evening. This is extremely common after major surgery. The doctors ordered clindamycin to help with that. Both daddy and I are allergic to Penicillin. He seems to be doing well with that. We were hoping today to go to a step down unit (one step closer to home) but because he kept running such high fevers and was tachycardic (his heart was beating really fast which is common if you have a fever or are in pain) the doctors decided to keep him an extra night in the PICU. We were so disappointed because the PICU is so noisy with people coming in and out and there is not privacy, we had to share a room and just is plain uncomfortable because there isn't a lot of room. Grammy Lisa and Aunt Sam came and stayed the day with us again...They are true blessings helping us get through this nightmare.

Caden's incision

Caden's left eye is swollen

Dec 22: Still in PICU, but we are getting moved to a step down unit! Thank you Jesus! Cheri came to see Caden and brought him a few gifts too, some are books and I can't wait to read them to him! Aunt Sam came to see us again and stayed all day with us again bringing us goodies to eat and Christmas decorations to hang up in Caden's new step down room. We FINALLY made it to the West Tower 10th floor. The room is huge! The first thing I did was take a shower- I will never take those for granted again! It felt like I was able to wash all the grime and stress and pain off from the past several months. I literally felt like a new person when I stepped out. They took Caden's dressing off of his head, needless to say he wasn't too fond of that AT ALL. His incision looks beautiful, as far as incisions can go. The swelling is very minimal and I never really realized wow elongated and narrow his head was until now. His head is so much more round and he looks just flat out beautiful and handsome. Dr. Buchanan (plastic surgeon) removed one of the JP drains and will removed the other one tomorrow. Dr. Bollo (neurosurgeon) says that Caden is right on track and looks fabulous and that we are still looking for a Christmas Eve/Day discharge. I am so excited- Caden will be the BEST Christmas gift I have ever received! This evening he has started babbling and playing peekaboo, which is the old Caden. He is off IV fluids because he can tolerate liquids, so all we are waiting on now is the other JP drain to be taken out, his fever to go- and stay- away, and for him to not need morphine medication (because it is IV). We need him just to need Tylenol 3 or regular Tylenol. I think we are well on our way. His left eye had swollen completely shut, but thankfully now he can kinda peek at us through it. His right eye seems to be completely normal-Thank you Jesus! A wonderful coworker , Kristyna Wright, brought my hubby and I a bag full of goodies and healthy snacks to get through this craziness- thank you sweet friend much appreciation!!